Stacking wins - how to do this practically?

Dwerg1 · 2024-10-04T16:59:05+00:00

You desire to win, so you do not really expect rejection.

Expecting failure is supposed to take the pressure off, but clearly you still feel the pressure to perform, to achieve, to get a particular outcome.

Not only do you need to expect rejection, you need to accept it and be cool with it. You have not yet accepted that rejection is an unavoidable part of the process, until you do your problem will persist.

The winning part has nothing to do with outcome, you should not be giving a fuck about outcome. The win is to go for it, the moment you've walked up and opened your mouth you're already a winner, even if you're immediately told point blank to go fuck yourself.

By trying there's a non-zero chance of a desirable outcome. By not even trying there's a 100% guarantee you won't get a desirable outcome. It's better a woman rejects you than you rejecting yourself by not even trying.

I remember back when I was where you are now. When I realized these things I was freed from the mind prison I had put myself in. I went out and fucked around to see what would happen. Got rejected a bunch of times of course, but I found my enjoyment in trying out whacky ideas just to see what happens. Sometimes it worked out and I got to literally fuck around.

Lord_Asmodeus93 · 2024-10-04T19:24:53+00:00

You need to shift your mindset.

You are the prize. You're giving the woman the opportunity to meet you and impress you. You don't even try to pick her up or whatever. You're just there to have fun. She's the one chasing. If she's not, learn how to build tension.

You win as long as you approach and have fun doing so.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-10-05T00:45:21+00:00

Coaches tell you a rejection is a win so you won’t ask for a refund.

Yes it’s a win if your goal is just to be able to talk to women. But once you past that stage, there’s no more “participation trophy”.

MrAnonPoster · 2024-10-05T00:21:25+00:00

Dont listen to coaches who at most date cave trolls

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2024-10-05T05:44:57+00:00

Most dating or seduction coaches don't have a great understanding of how the mind works.

Daniel Kahneman wrote a great book about how the human brain works in Learning Fast...and Slow. He explained that there's two types of conscious mind. There's the fast thinking brain that makes decisions on the fly, and makes most determinations based on past pattern recognition. The fast thinking brain tells us that 2+2=4 because we've known that for so long that it's now a pattern lodged in our mind.

The slow thinking brain takes a lot of energy, is lazy to be activated, but allows us to solve complex problems. It's the part of your brain that says, "We don't know what 2433x443 equals right now, so let's write out the problem and solve it."

The decision to approach women is governed by that fast thinking brain. Since the fast thinking brain uses past patterns to come to a conclusion, it means that the more you get rejected the more you will expect it. So getting nervous to approach is perfectly normal and within the scope of human nature.

The key to not worrying as much about rejection is to have fun with approaching and not be concerned about the outcome. The times when I've been the most courageous in approaching women (I'm telling you this as someone who has Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) is when I didn't care about whether or not I was going to be rejected and just approached for fun. In my mind I told myself, "I'm outside and I'm talking to people. Woo-hoo!" Rejected or not, I was just happy to meet new people.

As you get more success, you'll come to realize that not every woman is for you, anyway. You'll go out on dates and sleep with women and find that you just aren't compatible. Some have toxic personalities. Some you don't have a lot in common with. Some will just be boring in bed. The more that happens, the more you find that being with any and/or all women isn't the goal, but the real goal is finding someone that you want to be with. When you realize that, getting rejected doesn't hurt nearly as much.

Title	Stacking wins - how to do this practically?
Author	97_Analyst
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	October 4, 2024 4:12 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fw2yqe/stacking_wins_how_to_do_this_practically/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/stacking-wins-how-to-do-this-practically.1532053 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532053

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