TL;DR: If you had a transmittable STD, when and how would you tell a girl about it? I wait until after making out when I'm pretty sure we're going to have sex, but before we start taking clothes off. ALSO: have safe sex, but know that sex is rarely 100% safe, and risk is part of pickup.

Throwaway here. In the current AskSeddit thread and prior posts, I've seen discussions concerned with STDs from the girl's end--signs she has one, smooth ways to bring up the topic, and other issues related to maintaining good sexual health while playing the field. My question to the community: what if you're the one with a STD? How would having one affect your pickup, and what ethical obligations do you feel to your targets?

Some background: I am naturally sharp, extroverted and reasonably attractive, I'm comfortable around people and I often find myself at the center of attention, leading the party. However, until finding game I was never able to see the direct link between my confident traits and success with girls. I'd flip between hot and cold, next-day F-closing without even knowing what I was doing right one day and just getting blown out at a party the next. Without knowing it, my natural game landed me daily sex with a solid 9; without knowing game, my AFC neediness drove her away after a couple weeks.

A few months after I started reading up on game, I same night F-closed a cougar after meeting at one of my favorite bars. I hadn't always used condoms in the past, but at the time I'd been practicing safe sex for a solid year, and I certainly used one that night. A week later, I notice some bumps. A week after that, a painful outbreak of blisters covered the area just above my junk. I got an STD panel right away and turned up clean, but forgot about HSV-2 (genital herpes). I let the matter stew in the corners of my mind, sometimes leaving me feeling uneasy. Over the next year, I had one minor and one major outbreak. I slept with a few new girls (never during or before (you can tell when it's coming on) an outbreak), and I rationalized my guilt away: the STD panel said I didn't have anything! She'll probably be fine! The person who gave it to me didn't tell me about it!

Finally, I manned up and got another full panel with both main kinds of HSV included. I had genital herpes. I felt ashamed for sleeping with girls without telling them, and am lucky that as far as I know none of them contracted it. I felt unclean and embarrassed for a while, and the ensuing lack of confidence was apparent in my faltering game. I have f-closed two girls in the several months since then, and I told them about my status beforehand. I have regained my confidence and am okay with the fact that I have HSV-2. It is much more common than I thought, not nearly as bad as I feared, and has a low (but sadly > 0%) risk of transmission when using protection. But it's still here, and it's still a real obstacle.

I'm at a point where I want to step up my game drastically: more nights out, more approaches, more FRs, going out with more friends and critiquing each others' game. But I also feel some apprehension: even if I play it flawlessly, at the moment where a guy without herpes would have her wrapped up, I have to face the moment where I tell her about it. When I f-closed each of those girls in the past several months, I told them after some heavy making out and touching, but before we had bounced to where I planned on sleeping with her, so she had the option of coming with me or not based on that knowledge. I felt like it would be in bad form to wait until the condom was on, and I didn't want to waste my time or hers.

Are there any other sedditors with a STD? What do you do or say, and when in the course of pickup do you do or say it?

P.S. to sedditors who are still clean: be thankful you don't have anything! Keep your man suited up and get tested regularly. STDs are an unfortunate risk of sex, but many are curable, and most of them won't change your life much unless you let them fuck with your confidence. Regardless, safe sex and regular screening will minimize the risk to yourself and others.