Went to a club/party tonight, for the last regular season NBA game. Still battling approach anxiety.

Stood on the terrace, looking out over the city skyline, and watching the game on TV from a distance. Determined not to pace around this time conspicuously “hunting” for girls. I figure they’re all likely to stay until the game is over, so I’ll try to stay in my corner and covertly survey prospects from there. Make my move later. Watching the game is good cover, because that’s presumably why everyone is there, so there’s no shame in it.

Two women saunter over, and stand next to me, but behind me. I can’t watch them easily. One is attractive and one is overweight, the unattractive one is closer. The first quarter ends, I turn to them and say “we’re actually winning…they were favored by nine points.” Not a very bold opener, but on theme. This was a BIG DEAL for me because it was really my first attempt at striking up a conversation like this, regardless of technique.

The reaction happened kind of fast. The pretty one was friendly, but not overtly receptive. Really, I had no time to gauge her response. The fat one immediately turned to her friend as though I wasn’t there, and said something unrelated. Like I was invisible to her. They talked a little, and walked closer to the TV. I don’t know what the pretty one would have done, but her friend was obviously no help. For a while, they talked with a hispanic guy sitting closer to them. I thought maybe because they were latinas, there was some sort of racial preference there. But it eventually came to nothing. They moved again when some chairs opened up.

I continued to scout, and held eye contact whenever I made it. Of course, most of the girls were already with guys. Even the ones who I thought looked at me were often preoccupied. The others were all in pairs or larger groups.

One group of four stood farther down the terrace. They were all very attractive— one in particular caught my attention. She wasn’t really facing me, however. I thought another one who was turned in my direction looked at me.

I was still focused on the latinas at that point, and the group wasn’t that close. They left and eventually came back, standing right next to me. I’ve noticed that girl groups of four or more are always really into each other. They paid no attention to the game, and may have just crashed the party. But they were very “ohmygod…can you believe…and she’s always like that!” I couldn’t hear the words, but it was very animated. I always feel like I can’t interrupt a female conversation that’s that involved. Probably a mistake.

The one who was looking at me, the most extroverted, turned to put a menu on a table and fell forward a bit over a comfy chair. She smiled and laughed as she did it, right in front of me. That emboldened me to give the widest smile I’ve ever dared give to a strange girl. She looked straight at me, I knew that something had happened between us.

But she went right back to her group. I figured I’d better make some move…but suddenly several chairs opened up, and they kept walking. I thought, did I mess up already? Then it happened…the girl left her friends and came up to me herself!

“You’re cool as fuck” she said. I was stunned. She asked me my name, and shook my hand. I asked her her name: “Olivia.” I figured it would all be smooth sailing from there, but before I could say anything more, she walked away again! She went past her friends to another table. She chatted there for a while, and made a circle around the room. She came up to me a second time “do you have a lighter?” I didn’t. She went on, asking people. I was confused.

Eventually she settled in with her group. She lit what was NOT a cigarette, and some of the girls started passing it around. I wasn’t bothered by that, but since it suggested that we were coming from pretty different worlds, I wasn’t encouraged. I was so confused, I didn’t know if I should go over to the group or what. While they were getting high? Did she actually like me? Had I already missed my chance?

She disappeared for a time, as did some of the others. The prettiest and classiest was left alone with one other pretty girl. They talked very seriously. There were some breaks when I had a chance to go over. I didn’t, because I’m an idiot, and I didn’t want to ruin whatever I had with Olivia, who still seemed like my best bet.

They all got together again. As the game was nearly over, other guys started to approach them. They must have been waiting also. There were a few, but I don’t know if they knew each other. Most of them didn’t look like they had a chance, but the girls were friendly. One cooler guy, however, got Olivia to sit on his lap. I figured that was it for me.

I didn’t see her give him her number, however, so who knows. Soon they all separated. The girls all went into the bathroom together. I sat nearby, waiting. When they came out, Olivia saw me, remembered my name, and said “you’re really cool.” I tried to spit out something about her being awesome, but she didn’t actually break her stride, and they all left. I don’t know if she was really interested or just stoned.

So, I still have to work on my boldness. I probably should have made a more proper effort to talk to the group…her approaching me directly threw me off. I thought she would make it easy for me, and I allowed myself to be too passive. I kept waiting for her to do it all herself. A wasted opportunity, but major progress by my idiot standards.