i have been thinking about suicide very often for years. i struggle to do basic things because in thinking about my past. i always end up becoming negative towards myself. I'm so toxic with negativity from the inside. i hate it. i am not comfortable in my own skin. i am a good looking male but have, what i think is depression, anxiety, no friends, no life, and never had a girlfriend. i constantly hate myself and think I'm wasting my life away. don't have too many good memories in my life.

my mom passed away when i was 11 and it got me really depressed. I'm 26 now and still can't get over it. i have gone to psychiatrists and spiritual cleansing but i am not happy.

i don't know how i am going to continue.

please be honest. thanks so much for reading. i hope you get what you're looking for.