Some of you may remember me from the posts I wrote a few years ago on the Snapchat Guide to Game, which helped many guys get more dates using Instagram/Snapchat. Since then, I’ve been writing a lot more on social skills, and less about seduction.

But I've got an itch. So today, I want to talk about seduction and dating, and things I’ve noticed as I’ve matured and changed my approach to meeting women.

I want to talk about the difference between playboys and what I call... "real gangsters".

Being a player is fun. It’s certainly a stage many guys (and even women, in their own way) go through.

They play the field. They rack up as many options as they can.

But being a player is like playing in the minor leagues while being a real gangster is like being Mike Tyson at the peak of his career. Untouchable, unstoppable, ferocious, hungry... yet humble, knows his place in the world, and can take feedback positively.

My point is, the player is playing a completely different game than the real fuckin’ gangster is. And while it can be fun, it’s not a better one.

Players rack up their notch count for validation. To prove to themselves that they’re the shit.

Real fuckin’ gangsters know they can smash. And even if an opportunity presents itself, it’s not one they eagerly jump on UNLESS it’s something they really want and that aligns with their interest. Otherwise, they save their energy and integrity for a better, bigger win.

(In this game, there are people who take what they can. Then there are people who take what they want and feel strongly entitled towards.)

Players try to “amog” other guys. Try to belittle them and prove they’re the alpha of the environment.

Real fuckin’ gangsters know they’ve got the sauce. They know they’re great. But they also know others are great too. They hold an admiration for anyone with unique strengths. They never envy and are always curious about learning from others. They're constantly inspired by new possibilities or ways of doing things.

Players chase every bit of tail they can get. They get high off this. And think it’s the peak because they’ve got the energy to chase, the willpower to prove to themselves and prove to the world that they’re "the shit". This can be a good thing. But deep down it’s a facade. They don’t know what they want, so they chase what they can get and lack standards. They’re easily lured by shiny objects, “secrets” (read: surface level ploys) that’ll give them an unfair advantage.

Real fuckin’ gangsters have a clear set of values and standards. They know what they want out of this world and the unique strengths they bring to the table. They chase only the opportunities that deserve their utmost attention. And when that opportunity arises, they chase it with a drive, clear mission, and unwavering confidence. People recognize that these type of people don’t settle for just about anything. They admire it and respect it. And because these type of people are highly selective, it gives them an “exclusive” aura where people feel honored or appreciative to be around them.

The player is the young prodigy who hasn’t fully developed into his full superpowers.

The real fuckin’ g is the boss. He knows where he stands in the world and has hardened confidence like petrified wood.

I love noticing the real from the fake. Especially in the dating scene.

I hit up the bars with the homies and have a good time. I observe what’s going on around me and it’s always evident who the phonies are and who the real fuckin’ gangsters are. They have unique mannerisms.

I walked into a bar last weekend and was immediately greeted by a guy. He shook my hand and I asked if I knew him (I thought it was brave of him to do that to a stranger). It was cool until I realized he was doing this as a way to pump up his own state and he was going around the entire club like a monkey. It was extremely inauthentic, showy, and sleazy. Phonie playboy. Easy to spot.

Real fuckin’ gangsters are harder to spot. They blend in well with their environment. They usually don’t stick out much. Because they don’t have to. They aren’t doing anything that screams, “Give me attention. I’m right here.”  They’re usually deep in a conversation or busy doing their own thing with a group in a secluded area of the club.

If you know your values (the interests you care deeply about and that define who you are), have standards (what you won’t settle for and requirements that must be met before you take an interest), and have all your ducks lined up in a row (health, wealth, looks, career, hobbies, confidence, habits, personality)...

You are in your way to developing a solid, and true level of confidence that isn’t a facade based on external validation. You develop an energy that’s radiant, positive, and alluring. You become a magnet that attracts endless possibilities and opportunities.

But if you’re a playboy, you’ll make mistakes. You’re easily manipulated. And real fuckin’ G’s can spot you. Top notch women will be repelled from you. And you’ll learn from your mistakes...but it’ll take time.

I think being a player can be fun and great... but it’s a stepping stone to greater things.

In my head, I've got rankings like this:

Level 1: The Noob: No knowledge of dating/social skills. Major Loser. 

Level 2: The Scaredy Cat: Knows there are better possibilities out there and things he can learn. But when the opportunity presents itself, he's afraid to pull the trigger.

Level 3: The Player: He's discovered a newfound strength, a new set of social skills, and goes crazy using the tactics on everyone. 

Level 4: The Player v2: He's succeeded and perhaps even gotten a girlfriend or two. But, he's been dumped or heartbroken. Realizes the tactics aren't everything. 

Level 5: The Gangster: Strong, reborn, with an advanced set of skills. Knows the World well, knows what skills he has, and how to use them. Ready for anything. Looked at dragons in the face and survived. 

I hope this has helped you assess where you’re at. And where you need to go if you’re lacking. 

There's nothing wrong with whatever stage you're at. I studied pickup and dating skills for a LOOOOONG time (nine years). Learned TONS! So I can see the patterns, now. I've met guys who I consider dangerous. They're really good at what they do. I've also met guys who I thought were "it", but it was just a facade. I've also met guys who wanted the help to grow, but when offered, they chickened out (happens more than you think; these are the most annoying type of guys). 

But whatever stage you're at... Don't fool yourself. Always seek out feedback, always look to learn, and never play unethically (because that shit will get back to you).

-Laz.