Hey guys...I'm just thinking out loud here and I welcome any experience/input. So I don't get to go out much but I have built a large social circle. A couple of the gals have become FWB types. There have been some one-itis-es I admit but I've gotten past that (full disclosure- I am a recovering 'nice' guy). Anyhow something I noticed...my girls are usually friendly and fun when we text, but I am ALWAYS the one who texts them. I'm the one opening the conversation, talking about stuff I'm dealing with, flirting, whatever. And I noticed that even though I'm never supplicating or anything (like the old me), I still find myself sending all these long thoughtful texts.

Now understand, I'm older (40s) and I have work that takes me all around the country, so it's not like these gals are just across the street (they tend to be spread out all over the country too) or in the dorm or anything.

At first I thought I needed to improve my text game but that's not it is it? What I think I really need to do is just improve my life, be more awesome (I DJ, play in bands, do cool stuff all around the country), and let them chase my validation rather than handing it to them.

I admit it feels weird. Like if I don't talk to this or that girl then I won't have anybody and I'll die alone etc, but I am thinking being their 'text buddy' is bullshit and they at least need to upgrade to sexting, giving me tons of validation.

I welcome all input on this. Especially if you have had similar experiences. Thanks!