So I've been on seddit for a year or so now. I understand and act out the attitude of getting your inner game together and getting out there to work on women. My issue is I can't seem to get the subconscious part of my brain to follow what I rationally believe it should think.

Don't get me wrong, I do approaches, I get out there, and I'm no master pickup artist but I'm decently successful. My biggest struggles involve getting too 'invested' with women in general and it boils down to:

1) Focusing too much on women. Its funny because this subreddit talks about women all the time. However, I've found that reading and thinking more about women causes me to be unnaturally distracted. Me reading seddit posts causes me to notice and objectify women even more frequently. An example of how I feel like this has affected me is:

  • I'll be walking down the street with a friend and I'll be scanning the scene looking for attractive women, checking them out and thinking how to approach them. It almost detracts from me hanging out with my friend. Almost every hour and opportunity I'll be somewhat distracted by women and how I can 'game' them.

2) Playing the game causes me to get into it even more. This naturally leads me to become more invested and sometimes I feel a bit down when it doesn't work out since I put in the energy of thinking about it more. Here's an example:

  • I get a girls number and we text back and forth. However, I know I should show less investment so I purposely text back slower even if I see her message. But doing this actually causes me to think more about when to respond and how I should respond. That leads me to overthink my actions and her reactions and so I end up being more invested than I set out to be. And if it doesn't work out as I expected it definitely burns a little.

3) Age/Social pressure. I'm 28. A lot of my friends are getting married. I currently am single and that drives me to work on myself more and work on women more. I know we should all not give a fuck about social pressure but its easier said than done. This just further weighs on me physically and emotionally because I do feel like internally I would just like to have a stable relationship. I notice that this affects me day to day as well. Here's an example:

  • Sometimes I'll come across some couples. Just seeing them will make me wonder how they met and how things worked out. More problematic, it causes me to wonder why they have figured it out and why I am not in their shoes. Obviously I know this isn't the right mentality but that shit just comes out internally.

4) Sexual Drive. I'm starting to think that my drive to want to have sex with women is detracting from me being able to make a more natural connection with them. If I'm thinking about getting into their panties the whole time its hard to even see their personality.

I'm not sure how to get out of this mindset and attitude internally. On one end I want to improve my dynamics with women, so I increase my interactions with them to get more experience. However, I feel like this just causes me to think about them even more.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just completely stop trying pick up and stop thinking about women in general. I know that would be jumping to the other extreme but I really don't know what else I can do. Is it because I am building on an internal core foundation that needs to be rebuilt? How does one embody the attitude that they know they should have.