Thoughts on coaches and pua

WIA20XX · 2019-07-26T21:18:59+00:00

If you're 21 and still go to college, campus life beats the club.

As for what coaches are legit, even when I hear advice that I don't agree with - Yad stops and all that London day game bullshit - guys get success with it.

Picking a guru is really just picking a style that you like.

Judo or Karate?

pua_help · 2019-08-02T08:19:43+00:00

You make some good points and I think you're approaching it from the right way. I saw a coach for a private bootcamp a couple years ago and I think it was helpful, but only because I went into with exactly the right ideas about what to expect and not expect.

Before seeing a coach, I had done a lot of work on improving myself to get better at meeting and attracting women. From the time I was 22 (when I first realized I needed to improve) to the time I was 27 (when I saw a coach), I started lifting weights seriously and had gained over 50 lbs of muscle, completely overhauled my style and grooming habits, gained more confidence in forming friendships, increased the number of girls I had slept with from 3 to over 20 through dating apps and social circle game, and gotten hotter girls than I could have imagined beforehand.

But in spite of this, I had crippling approach anxiety. I would see hot girls out at bars or other places and be frustrated that I knew I couldn't talk to them because we didn't match on an app or meet through a friend. I tried going out with guys I met on an RSD group in the city where I was living, thinking that would help. But all it did was make my approach anxiety worse, because I was going out with more experienced guys, which made me even more anxious that I couldn't approach like they could and left me feeling embarrassed at the end of the night that I couldn't do a single approach.

So I decided that the only way to cure approach anxiety once and for all would be to work with a coach. I knew I had the ability to talk to and seduce a girl once I met her, and I just needed someone to hold my feet to the fire and force me to approach. And I knew that if I dropped over $1,000 on a PUA coach and travel expenses, I wasn't going to end the bootcamp without forcing myself to make progress. But I didn't go into the bootcamp with the expectation it would do anything other than fix my approach anxiety. I had only one goal and anything else I saw as an unexpected bonus.

So I did some research and tried to find a coach that didn't seem to be selling a certain technique or magic routine and ended up picking Gareth Jones from the Art of the Playboy. And in the end I got exactly what I needed from him. We spent a few hours going over different techniques, but the most valuable part by far was going out to the bars with him. He pretty much forced me to get out and make approach after approach after approach until it didn't seem as scary anymore. There were parts of the bootcamp where I thought he was a total dick, but honestly it was probably what I needed. After two nights of going out with him, my approach anxiety has pretty much vanished.

But here's the thing - you're absolutely right about cold approach being less efficient. These days I rarely get outright rejected by a girl I approach, but there are still plenty of ways I've been rejected even after we've spent time talking and flirting at a bar. Sometimes they ghost after you text them, sometimes they flake out on a date, sometimes they don't come back home with you, sometimes you can't overcome the LMR. And even though all of this can happen with girls you meet online, at parties, etc, I've found it to be worse with girls I've met through cold approach.

From your post it sounds like you're thinking of seeing a coach again, so here's my advice based on what you've said. If you can already do cold approach and have gotten dates from it, I don't think you need a coach. Like you said, things like physique, career, intelligence, etc, are far more important than whatever the coach will teach you. If you have one sticking point you know you need to get past (approaching, pulling, escalating, etc) then I'd say it's worth it if you can afford it. But otherwise, I'd say save your money and work on improving yourself and improving your game on your own and with wings.

Title	Thoughts on coaches and pua
Author	FitAttention9
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	July 26, 2019 6:07 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ci6awr/thoughts_on_coaches_and_pua/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/thoughts-on-coaches-and-pua.1474655 https://theredarchive.com/post/1474655

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