Throwing a Monkey Wrench Into The Evolutionary Explanation for Girls Liking Jerks.

yougottawanna · 2012-05-30T03:23:19+00:00

"Nice Guys" aren't really that nice. (I know because I'm recovering after being one for most of my life.)

Nice guys are terrified of being rejected so they (we) find all kinds of sneaky ways of trying to bargain to get their needs met. The idea is if we never reveal our true desires we don't have to acknowledge in the open if they're not being met. So we bend over backwards for other people, secretly assuming that they will reciprocate by giving us what we want/expect.

It doesn't work. It's weak, it's dishonest, and people (women especially) can see through it for what it really is - selfish desperation borne of not feeling capable of getting what we want/need through open communication.

It's not that they are attracted to "jerks," it's that they are attracted to self-confident men who command respect and naturally meet their own needs and desires with frequent success. Someone who can easily provide for their own needs can also easily provide for the needs of those who depend on him.

c0ckmasterz · 2012-05-30T03:23:21+00:00

You have to be a mix of both. Kill the mammoth but still share the food. Defend yourself and your family at the same time.

4FF41R · 2012-05-30T12:13:56+00:00

What if the entire explanation is a bunch of BS?

It doesn't change the FACT that most women are attracted to bad boys most of the times; while nice guys do finish last.

Don't take my word for it, go out there and observe, and - most importantly - how's life working out for you?

FoodNinja · 2012-05-30T03:34:46+00:00

The standard explanation would be that it's most beneficial for a woman have both in her life, playing different roles. She keeps the nice guy in the "friendzone" where he can provide and care for her, BUT she has sex with the jerk in order to secure those sweet, sweet selfish genes that'll give her offspring a better shot at survival. That way she gets the best of both worlds: alpha genes for her offspring who are then cared for by the "selfless" chump. Tyler has a video where he says that humans are evolutionarily successful because "women fucked the champ behind the back of the chode."

Having said that, there's plenty of evidence to suggest that this kind of simplistic evolutionary psychology is bull. yougottawanna has a much more convincing description of the weak guy/confident guy split.

puaCurveBall · 2012-05-30T15:34:52+00:00

You really don't understan evolution.

A jerk would leave his pregnant mate vulnerable while he runs off to hump the other cavewoman hotties.

Yeah... and he would pass on more of his genes, which would make his personality / genes more popular over time.

I would actually read some text on evolution instead of thinking it is about "what is nicest for the tribe".

Check out The Selfish Gene.

kingcal · 2012-05-30T15:38:08+00:00

Speaking from an evolutionary biological standpoint, "selfish" genes are the only kind of genes that will spread. Any "selfless" gene, that will cause a person or animal to act in a way that will keep it from reproducing, be it through death or getting "friend-zoned" will not be spread. Why not? Because if you're not mating, you're not spreading genes. None of us are ancestors of virgins.

Now, "selfish" genes do not mean that they make one act in a selfish manner. It may in fact be beneficial for a person or animal to act "selflessly" if this will increase the chance of the gene spreading to a new generation.

For instance, you use hunting and food sharing as the manner in which a "selfless" person would act, but many studies into human food sharing has shown the opposite. Eating and sharing food is an entirely social behavior for humans. It carries an enormous amount of social stigma to make the kill. Think DHV -- look at this animal I have hunted and killed. In the case of large game, a hunter will have much more meat than he can himself use, and by sharing the excess he is buying social proof, and many times, the hunter will share a disproportionate amount of meat with women in which he wants to have an affair with. In return, on those days in which he is not successful, others will remember his kindness and reciprocate. He won't go hungry and lives to spread this "selfless" food-sharing gene.

It is true that in some cases the "selfish" gene causes a male to act selfishly. It is observed in many birds that males will often mate with many female birds and contribute no time, energy, or resources to rearing the young, even in species that form "monogamous" families. This is due to competition. All of the females want the best possible mate for their offspring, but they also don't want to raise the young alone. They often "settle down" with a "selfless" AFC bird that they know will provide the necessary help, while they mate with an "alpha" bird on the side. They want to have their cake and eat it too.

testmypatience · 2012-05-30T04:31:28+00:00

Reason? Easy.

Women go for fun/excitement & confidence before they go for safety and nuturing. I have heard many woman say that they like a nice guy but can't be with them because they aren't confident and are not exciting enough for them and would bore them to death. Many women have told me that.

Also, we have this information somewhere here in seddit anyhow haha.

TheRealCalculon · 2012-05-30T12:57:58+00:00

Jerks are selfish, "nice guys" are selfish too. What you're describing is a good man.

Title	Throwing a Monkey Wrench Into The Evolutionary Explanation for Girls Liking Jerks.
Author	LadyLumen
Upvotes	0
Comments	10
Date	May 30, 2012 3:13 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ubit1/throwing_a_monkey_wrench_into_the_evolutionary/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/throwing-a-monkey-wrench-into-the-evolutionary.1333439 https://theredarchive.com/post/1333439

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