Tips for going out solo?

mcquinn7 · 2014-06-09T22:36:53+00:00

I've noticed that the second I leave my car, I have to speak to the first people I see. The trick is to get your social momentum up before you even get to the club/bar. The reason being is that you don't want to spend any time in the bar not speaking to people because of AA - girls notice shit like that subconsciously and you suddenly become one of those weird guys on the sidelines staring at everybody - worst feeling in the world.

Or if you can go to some piece of shit bar to warm up in, then head to your main place, that would work too. I think you just have to warm up really well as soon as possible - I like to call it social lubrication!

The nights I've had most success is when I have spoken to people immediately upon going out, and gotten an immediate buzz (or state or whatever) from it.

The nights when I've had a nightmare are when I've been "waiting for the perfect moment" to speak to people, and I've ended up speaking to very few people.

sedditforthewin · 2014-06-09T21:34:07+00:00

Obviously, don't stop approaching.

My best advice for AA, is find out what makes you afraid to approach and find a better way of looking at it. It's normally unconscious.

For me, I've noticed that I stop approaching when I feel embarrassed about what I just did, when I cringe at my last set. To combat this, I

always find a way to make it funny,

take note of how badass it was, focus on the cool parts and understand mistakes are a good sign,

and I dissociate from my actions. Think of how when you watch a sitcom and the character is super stressed, you're laughing, it's a release. Obviously still take responsibility for your actions, don't be a dick.

So when I'm clamming up before approaching, I laugh at myself, then look at myself from above so I'm not identifying with whatever happens. It takes all the pressure off and makes it an entertaining adventure.

You can also find someone who you can come back to when shaking off the stressful sets(epic blowouts, dudes going full monkey mode). Older women will usually be extremely happy to chat with you.

Sidenote, most of this stuff is borrowed from RSD.

_grim · 2014-06-11T15:17:49+00:00

Don't blend with the rest of crowd. Wear a conversation piece. Be stylish. You don't have be over the top, but you don't want to be a part of the status quo either. Make sure your clothes amplifies and matches personality.

Having fun should be the top priority. Smile some. Make friends with the bartender. Don't hold on to your beer / drink like its a comfort blanket or keep hands in your pockets or across your chest.

Don't play with your phone too much.

Jump venues.

If you do dance, don't do it in a passive aggressive creep from behind fashion. Dance for fun and yourself.

Jump into conversations. Just make you bring value to the conversation when you do.

Title	Tips for going out solo?
Author	Flimflamification
Upvotes	8
Comments	4
Date	June 9, 2014 6:33 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/27pu0v/tips_for_going_out_solo/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/tips-for-going-out-solo.1371939 https://theredarchive.com/post/1371939

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