So I made a post here a week ago asking for advice and tips on improving my first date game since I was going through some trying times and while it didn't get too much attention, I want to give a shout out to u/smoothmax and u/theloveguardian for actually commenting and helping me figure out what I was doing wrong and what I was missing. They helped me come to the self-realization that I needed to get to where I wanted to be.

Basically, I already had pretty good first date game, but then I went away for 6 months to travel through Southeast Asia where I didn't go on any "first dates" per se so when I came back home, I was having trouble getting back to the same level I was at before and not really achieving the success I was looking for and I didn't understand why. I thought it was maybe because I had forgotten what to do. In my original post, I gave detailed reports of the last 5 first dates I went on (of which only 2 were successful) to try to spot the issues I was having.

Well since that post, I have been on 5 first dates and 1 second date and every single one of them has been successful so I thought I would come back and share my learnings with you guys so that you can benefit from them as well! I have also included the details of each date in case some of you might be interested, but to spare you all from reading a lot of text if you're not interested in them, you can find them after the learnings. I usually go for the same formula each time: I meet the girl at a bar somewhere easy for them to get to and not too far away from my place (with some exceptions), usually at 9pm because that's when the happy hour starts which is very useful for the wallet if you're going on multiple dates in a week like I am, but also makes some encounters less likely to lead to first date sex if they have to work the next day as it can get pretty late, so it has its pros and cons.

Learnings:

  1. Confidence is so key, from the very beginning and throughout the whole encounter. Master this and your success rate will skyrocket. All it takes is to not make it such a big deal and not care too much about what the girl or others around might think about you.
  2. Kino is important, but also has a lot to do with confidence. If you have confidence, you can do kino. Start with the greeting and make sure to sit next to the girl so your legs are touching from the get-go. Use excuses to sit next to her if you need to. Use your confidence to make her comfortable and then escalate the kino to the point where your arm is around her or you are making out in the bar.
  3. When you greet the girl, be confident, keep strong eye contact, give her a good hug and let your hand linger on her waist a little bit. Compliment her on how she looks. If you are walking somewhere together, stick out your arm and ask her to grab it. Joke about it by saying you want to feel like a gentleman if you need to.
  4. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. The outcome of the date is mainly in your hands. Be confident and let the confidence radiate it off you. If the girl is nervous, her nerves will go away when she senses your confidence.
  5. Find a good reason to bring her back to yours. Asking her about her favourite drinks is a good way to do it and if you have it at yours, suggest it. Frame it as a a venue change or going to another spot. This can still be a bit too scary for some girls, so a very good alternative is to ask her if she's a competitive person and to challenge her at beer pong. Make sure you have cups and balls at your place if you do this though. The table isn't as important. My table is knee-high, but it still gets the job done. Playing beer pong helps alleviate the "oh no he wants to have sex" feelings they get when you just invite her over to yours with no other excuse but to drink.
  6. If she doesn't come over at the end of the first date, but the sexual tension was high, try to schedule the second date as soon as possible afterwards to avoid losing the momentum. Prioritize second dates over other first dates and reschedule other first dates if you have to.

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  • 9/7 - First date since the post, local girl (26). She got to the bar before me so she got two seats at the bar since the rest of the place was full. She didn't get up to hug me which was weird, but I leaned in confidently to hug her and sat next to her. She was a bit nervous, but I kept my composure and her nerves went away as she sensed my confidence. Re-adjusted my position a few times throughout to get closer and eventually had my arm resting on her chair which she didn't seem to object to. We had our drinks and then I proposed we go to another venue which she was down for. I then suggested my place which made her a bit hesitant so I said ok we can go to another bar too, that's fine. She said alright. We went to another bar which happened to be closing when we arrived so I proposed my place again, but instead of proposing wine again, I instead challenged her at beer pong and she said okay. When we got to my place, I poured some wine and gave her a tour of the apartment and showed her the map in my room of all the places I've been. While she was looking it, I was able to caress her from behind and hold her waist. After talking a little bit about travel, I went for the kiss and she reciprocated. I then said it's time for some beer pong and set that up. We played 3 rounds and in between rounds we were teasing each other, making out a little bit, just having a good time. After the deciding game which she won, I made the move to bring her to my bedroom. Got her top off and was fooling around with her, even fingering her under her pants a fair amount, but she didn't seem to want to go further than that. After a while, it seemed like that's as far as it would go so we just cuddled a little bit. Well after cuddling a little bit, I was hard since I was right up behind her and she was kinda rubbing on me so I could sense that she was horny. This time I didn't say anything and just made the move to turn her on and finally get her pants and panties off. I grabbed a condom and put it on and mission accomplished. She ended up spending the night and we did it again in the morning, after which I brought her home.

  • 9/8 - Brazilian girl (33). We met in the center of the city at a local monument since we said we'd walk around to find a place. She was 15 minutes late (typical Brazilian), but when she arrived, the kino game was strong from the get-go. Went for the hug, had my hand linger on her waist a little bit and held strong eye contact. Complimented her and then said let's go find a place. Stuck my arm out for her to grab and she didn't hesitate. She held on firmly as we walked around the block looking fro a cool bar (it helped that it was a little cold out). We found a place and sat down next to each other, legs already touching. Her English wasn't that good, but we were able to hold decent conversation with me doing most of the heavy lifting. I could sense the attraction so at one point I just said something like "It's crazy, but for some reason I feel like kissing you right now, isn't that crazy?" and she replied with "in Brazil, it's not so crazy to kiss in a bar/restaurant", to which I responded "We should pretend we're in Brazil then" and that was enough to seal it. Made out in the bar a few times before finishing our drinks. I said we should go somewhere else and asked, "you live nearby, right?" and she said yeah, but she made a deal with her flatmate that neither of them would bring guys over so that couldn't happen. I said we could go to mine, but she had work in the morning so she said not tonight. I then walked her home and made out in front of her place before saying good night.

  • 9/9 - Ecuadorian girl (22). She made it seem like getting to the bar, which was not too difficult to get to from her place, would not be easy so I offered to pick her up and she liked the idea so I picked her up. She was like 10 mins late getting out of her house, but I met her in front and gave her a hug + complimented her. Stuck my arm out to take her to the car since I parked half a block away. At first she didn't notice it, but then I said something along the lines of "here I am trying to be a gentleman and you're not helping me" and then she noticed and held onto my arm, but not too firmly. We drove to the restaurant and at first sat at the corner of the booth with legs touching, but after about 5 minutes, I said let's sit next to each other, I don't like sitting across from each other like this. Sitting next to her, I eventually had my arm around her shoulders. At first, I was a bit nervous for some reason, but only because her confidence level was crazy high and because we were conversing only in Spanish which I hadn't done too much of in a while. But my confidence came after sensing hers and I then was doing some heavy flirting. I could sense the sexual tension so I tried to make a move like I did with the Brazilian girl where I made a comment about kissing. I think I said something like "it really looks like you want to kiss me right now", but she decided to tease me and say something like "oh no I just like looking at your eyes" (I usually get complimented on them). I could tell she was testing me so every time I tried to go in for a kiss and she wouldn't reciprocate, I teased her by saying "oh I just wanted to get a better look at your pretty face". At one point she decided to show me how she likes to eat lemon by putting salt on it and then eating it. I teased her by saying that's weird who does that. She then tries to convince me to do it and I said let's make a deal. If I eat a slice of lemon with salt on it, you have to kiss me. She agreed so I did it which wasn't too bad, but I still don't get why someone would do it, but whatever haha. Then I said alright, time for your part of the deal, then we made out. I would have never tried something like this if I wasn't sure that she was attracted to me and that there was enough tension for it. We made out a few more times before finishing our drinks, after which I challenged her to beer pong. She said she likes the idea and wants to play, but not tonight so I said alright and took her home. We made out in the car and then said our goodbyes. One mistake I made was to not try to schedule a second date with her as soon as possible afterwards because right now I'm not 100% sure if it will happen since the sexual tension isn't as high anymore and the texting isn't as frequent, but she still responds with relative enthusiasm so we'll see. The only reason I didn't is because I had too many other dates scheduled during the week lol.

  • 9/10 - Second date with the local girl from 9/7. Not relevant to first date game, but thought I'd include it anyways. Met at her place to make dinner together and play round 2 of beer pong since I wanted a rematch after she beat me the first time. Met in front of her apartment complex, but the greeting seemed a bit off. I don't remember if we hugged or not, but she essentially let me in and then brought me up to her place. I helped her prepare dinner while making conversation, but I was doing most of the work. I wasn't sure if she was just being shy still or what, but at a certain point during the cooking, I suggested we open the wine and she said yeah ok and once she was sipping on it, she became more talkative. at a certain point, I grabbed her and made out with her which removed whatever doubt I was having and then we had dinner which was delicious. Then I said alright let's rematch so we played again and this time she beat me 2-0 (really gotta work on my beer pong game lol). After that, we went into her room and sealed the deal. Hung out a little bit afterwards and then went home.

  • 9/11 - Local girl (35). I was looking forward to this one since I've never actually been with a MILF and it's been on my bucket list for a while. She has two kids and this was one of her nights without them so we met at a bar halfway between us. She arrived before I did and grabbed a booth. She got up to hug me and then I sat down next to her. When she sat down, she seemed to try to leave some space between us so I said something like "you're running away from me already?" and then I explained how I don't like it when I sit across from someone since it feels like a job interview and that gave me the reason I needed to be able to sit next to her, legs touching from the onset. She seemed nervous throughout the whole date, not keeping much eye contact with me so I kept the kino advances light. She had a tattoo on her arm which I touched and asked her about, but that's the most extensive kino I did. We had some good conversation. We talked about our age difference and I explained to her how I generally preferred dating women my age or older because women in their early 20s can be super fake (which is very true) and that older women keep it real. We talked about her kids and she asked if it's weird for me that she has them and I said not at all, I think it is interesting, it adds another dimension to a person. I asked her about her dating life and some of her dating experiences since her divorce and she gave me some funny stories to which I said I hope I don't end up becoming one of them. I told her the reason I asked about her dating life is because she seemed to be a bit nervous with me and she said she's usually more nervous so I took it as a sign that she liked me. She ended up paying for my drink which is rare for me, but much appreciated. We talked a little bit about our favourite drinks and she said she liked caesars to which I told her I've never had one. She was surprised by that and looked for it on the menu. She said she makes them at home sometimes so I suggested she just make me one to try and she said "did you just invite yourself over?" to which I said, "I'm just saying, you really want me to try a caesar and you have everything you need at home, but yeah no problem" and changed the topic as I could tell having me over on the first date wasn't her intention. We left the bar and walked to the parking lot. We said our goodbyes and said we had a good time and made out. Surprisingly not the best kisser, but life is full of surprises!

  • 9/12 - Colombian girl (20). This girl actually replaced a date I had planned with a French girl beforehand, but that I didn't feel much of a connection with so I was able to get the Colombian girl on board for a last minute date (last minute meaning same day). She got to the bar before me and grabbed a table. When I got there, we hugged and I noticed that she was at a table with no chance of sitting next to each other so I said "I don't like this table, let's get a different one". She said alright cool and I immediately asked the server if we could sit at this outdoor lounge area that was super cool. He said yeah of course so we sat there which was so nice. There was a couch and fire so the ambiance was just perfect. Sat down next to her, legs touching of course. She was very talkative, but also seemed a bit nervous as she wasn't keeping too much eye contact with me. I had my arm around her pretty soon into the date and we were vibing well. At certain points, I could tell by her body language that she would like to kiss me so at one point I just said "hey look at me for a second" and when she did, I went in for the kiss and she reciprocated. We made out and then she said something like "oh so that's why you wanted me to look at you". We made out a few more times and then I asked her about her favourite wine to which she said it was moscato. As fate would have it, I had an unopened bottle of that at my place. I asked her which one was her favourite and then I asked her if she ever tried yellow tail (the one I had at my place). She said no and I said if she loves moscato, she has to because it is really good. I then said that I actually have a bottle at my place if she wants to give it a try. She said she wasn't sure. I told her come on, she has to try it. Again, she said she wasn't sure. Then I asked her if she every played beer pong. She said yeah, but not much. I challenged her to a game and said this would also give her a chance to try the wine. She said yeah ok let's do it. Had her grab my arm on the way to my car and we went to my place. I poured the wine and gave her the tour, showing her the map, holding onto her from behind and making out with her then as well. We played beer pong and I won. After which, we sat down on the couch and I made out with her some more, trying to escalate, but her signs weren't super clear. At a certain point, I get my hand between her legs and I start fingering her. I do that for a bit and then I get up and grab her hand to lead her to the bedroom. She was totally on board and the rest is history. I brought her back home afterwards.

I would have scheduled another date for tonight, but I have a hockey game so it's a night off haha. Anyways, I hope this helps some of you! Thanks again to u/smoothmax and u/theloveguardian for their help!