Using a break up as motivation

dougsherman · 2014-10-26T22:15:26+00:00

That shouldn't be your motivation but its completely normal to feel that following a breakup. Just be aware of it and it will fade with time. Continue to improve yourself, and in time you will be doing it for your own sake and not for hers.

seemetouchme · 2014-10-26T23:41:39+00:00

Although the motivation you are putting to good use, she already wins if you are doing it just for her. As time goes on so will your feelings for her. This is natural, the next step is to do these things for you, not for her or anyone else.

insidescoop84 · 2014-10-27T00:12:02+00:00

as long as you're out for revenge, she's still the winner because all the new good things in your life aren't about you, they're about her. if she ever happens to feel like she lost out, let that be her own organic circumstance, not your goal.

Given that you said the revenge idea subsides the further you go along, I'd say you're in a good place.

BrinksNY · 2014-10-26T23:02:43+00:00

It's how I got my start.

I'm glad you already mentioned it, but shifting from revenge to wanting to just do this for yourself, free of external considerations (be it revenge on an ex, trying to prove something to friends, etc.) is extremely important.

DalekJay · 2014-10-26T23:00:51+00:00

man, I just broke up too, but don't revenge, it do not worth. She do not worth, in fact she's worthless... Don't have her in your life, every time you keep these thoughts harder to forget her. Mine was a total bitch at a point that her best friend and sisters where on my side, I could revenge too, but meh... she can't have any second of my time. I started to play more with other girls, as you did exercise, good food and therapist ( I'm autistic). Didn't score yet a true score, but one friend invite me over to be with her alone... in UK. Other one started to talk every day to me and she invited herself to come to my home... I still a little hollow, just play its not my thing I rather have a GF, but can't complain right? The girls even noticed me more which is nice

romanhelmet69 · 2014-10-27T12:14:05+00:00

I'm in the same boat as you buddy, but it took me a month to realize it and a lot of time spent intoxicated. Now I'm eating better, working out a lot more and pursuing my passions as well. That thought of revenge will pass in time, it's only natural even more so if you still have feelings for her.

manbastard · 2014-10-27T16:49:04+00:00

Its not the best motivation but you have motivation which is key to good mental health.

I did exactly the same and its along time later, im not over her 100% but ive done so much in my life and improved myself so much that im not the same guy she broke up wth

Rx_Love · 2014-11-01T00:34:16+00:00

Hard work is the best medicine for heartache. WuTang says it cooler than that but thats what they mean.

Title	Using a break up as motivation
Author	throwzawayman
Upvotes	18
Comments	9
Date	October 26, 2014 9:33 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2kejo3/using_a_break_up_as_motivation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/using-a-break-up-as-motivation.1378637 https://theredarchive.com/post/1378637

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