Mark Manson says the only way to really attract women is to be vulnerable. I agree with this completely. The only way to build deep connections with humans is to open yourself up and be vulnerable. You can go out and try to woo women with magic lines or tricks, and that might work for a night or two, but that's a lonely experience for one to lead.

The thing is, I feel like when I'm vulnerable with women, it scares them and a part of me feels it makes them see me as weak. I went through difficult times in my teens and early 20s. Most of it was not my fault and due to a poor medical diagnosis and treatment. I have a lot of shame around it, but I'm working through it and at the end of the day, I believe my experience has made me a stronger, more aware and well rounded individual than most. Sometimes it comes up when dating a girl, and I invariably hide it from them. I have made the decision to no longer hide my true self and if the situation comes up, to share it with them so they understand who I am and where I came from.

But I still can't reconcile that women see it as a weakness. I opened up to a girl recently who id been dating for a month and a half. Something came up and the only way I could explain it was to share some of my past. I thought it would bring us closer but she was totally different the next time we hung out. Everything was great between us, and now she's saying "I want to keep things casual and light right now" due to the fact that she's dealing with a lot of raw emotion from a breakup earlier this year.

I'm confused why this wasn't an issue until I opened things up to her. She said it made things approach "boyfriend and girlfriend" territory, and I said "uh, I'm pretty sure this was just being a human being territory".

I'm at the best place I've been in my life, but I'm trying to figure out if I should keep aspects of myself to myself. It goes against my values, but I also know there's a time and place for things. I guess I should just say she's weak and judge mental and I shouldn't waste my time with her, but I'm still struggling. Any thoughts?