I posted this in the dating reddit but I was told to also post this here

Sup dudes and dudettes, only posting this because I just previously read a post about how men (shit even women) need to get proactive about their dating and it’s true. I’m no George Clooney ( maybe a 8 out of 10 at best) black, 5”11, 190 , muscular frame. Tbh my “nice” body made me more insecure because of the expectations that I should be “swimming in pussy” . I’m gonna post my numbers.

Before anything just know that behavioral therapy helped me more than approaching women (giving mental health a big shoutout) especially if you grew up in a toxic masculine black culture like me.

I don’t consider these women numbers, they are people with actual feelings but I’m posting these numbers so you guys can see.

So since January 7th I have been approaching women to get better cause I sucked. I approached at clubs, bars, school(before I graduated) malls, grocery store, gym, and beach

I have approached 104 women this year. I failed my goal of one per day. Most success with black women Least success with Arabic women Most receptive and open with Spanish Age group 19-31.

79/104 Went successful Out of that 79 I went of 32 dates( some never responded) Out of those (32) I slept with 18. Out of those 18 women 5 could’ve been my girlfriend

Out of those 5 ladies 1 awesome lady stands. Not girlfriend yet but this summer will be a romantic one hopefully ending with an awesome woman as my Golden Girl (shout out to a frank ocean lol)

Also tracked my reactions each time. To sum it up I still get nervous cause it’s exciting but no longer anxious. Women can feel the tension in your voice.

I’m sorry guys cause you already know this but the only way to win is to try. What did help me though is realizing that women and men are egotistical mainly cause of social media so just let women talk lol. Being able to crack jokes shatters the wall they put up cause of a stranger approaching them.

Oh and they seem to LOVE wittiness, if you can someone be sarcastic without being an asshole and maybe even crack jokes on them they love it. It’s as if they see you’re not afraid of them subconsciously.

Also, those things that hurt you as you were growing up in regards to your appearance or voice or something else isn’t true. None of that shit was a fact but you let your insecurities raise you and allowed yourself to live in those lies. Be conscious of the excuses you tell yourself as to why you shouldn’t approach right now.

THERE IS NEVER A PERFECT TIME I got rejected, I stuttered, some thought I was creepy af, i even had to walk embarrassed back to my table after getting up to introduce myself.

Guys we need to step it up as a collective whole because some of these girls are so pretty that no one ever approaches them and that hurts them. Some of these beautiful can’t find love or even a quick fuck because they’re so pretty. I know that sounds crazy but they just want love to.

In the beginning I was thirsty af and approached anytime. After a while I only approached when out with friends. Women seem to like when you’re out in a group THEN approached. I guess they like to see other people like you and you’re not dangerous.

Success rate is HIGHEST when you’re hanging out one on one with a cute female friend then approach a woman. Idk if it’s jealousy or they see that cute women like your prescence so they feel more comfortable.

I think it’s healthy to approach when you’re out with a purpose, not to go fishing. Remember women are people that have feelings , lives and also poop. Also throughout this I wasn’t watching porn. I’m in control of my dating life cause I realized my fears never existed. Tired of writing lol, open to questions . Peeeace