What changed you?

jacobortega72 · 2022-07-09T08:00:31+00:00

the way you see yourself changes everything

PenguinLegos · 2022-07-09T14:19:05+00:00

For some folks, the reason you struggle with this has to do with traumatic experiences with women in your youth, specifically your mother.

You likely learned that women are to be feared and want to punish you (getting deep, I know lol). This is a false-belief. However, if you go out and approach a woman and get rejected (perhaps harshly) or get no OLD matches, your neurology is set-up such that those experiences will be disproportionately painful given your traumatic history with women; consequently, you see these experiences as confirming your false-belief, as oppose to being a fact of life for everyone.

Okay, so we know about trauma, etc. What do we do with information?

Once you identify the cause of the false belief, you need to behave in congruence with the fact the belief is false. This means when you see women, do not make assumptions of what they will think of you! (She is way too hot for me!) Do not make assumptions of what you think of her! (She is hot and has a tattoo, must be a cool person!). Approach women you find attractive and monitor your feelings following a rejection: "she is not into it" is different than "damn, I suck with women, they all hate me. Why do I even bother?"

whale_sports · 2022-07-09T07:50:32+00:00

None of that crap. I would go out with my friends, and find a nice looking girl....ask her to dance, and we would just be cool.

This was before cell phones...

2022-07-09T07:57:09+00:00

Observing what people say and what they respond to

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-07-09T16:58:15+00:00

Nothing will help you like age and experience. With it comes an idgaf attitude and when you don’t care, women start to gravitate towards you. It’s all counterintuitive.

Pain_Tough · 2022-07-09T18:38:56+00:00

I’m 58M, i bloomed I’m the late 1980s, just decided to let it come to me. It did.

serialkiller_mne · 2022-07-10T02:13:52+00:00

Nothing that you mentioned... maybe ephiphany in my case was simply maturing and accepting what I need to change about myself. I basically stopped thinking that everything I think and do is right. I'm still in that process

Never read self help books tho, but I would observe the society around me, be open to advice from people I think knew what they were talking about. So yeah, I became more adaptable

Life didn't treat me well, so there were many hard pills to swallow since I was small. It has it's good and bad sides tho

Title	What changed you?
Author	Stujitsu2
Upvotes	2
Comments	11
Date	July 9, 2022 7:44 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vuwl25/what_changed_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-changed-you.1254951 https://theredarchive.com/post/1254951

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