What do I do?

DriedUpPlum · 2020-04-02T13:13:56+00:00

Don’t treat them like some sort of magical different species. Be respectful. Objectifying and putting someone by putting them on a pedestal is not respectful.

Hold the door for people because it’s polite. Don’t hold the door for someone because they happen to have a vagina.

Big different between being nice and being a “nice guy” trying to earn sex points. Can you guess which one is more attractive and pro tip: Women aren’t stupid.

AfraidofFollowers · 2020-04-02T12:30:28+00:00

Wait a long time before putting them on a pedestal. Wait until things get a bit more serious before showing all your cards.

cyeahhhhhhboi91 · 2020-04-02T13:15:38+00:00

Make them earn it

Stingzizz · 2020-04-02T13:59:01+00:00

Aren’t you special, they should see yourself as special and being you with makes them feel special. If not then they are just hooked with you for the time till they find next one.

lanky_yankee · 2020-04-02T13:28:03+00:00

You have a much better chance with a woman by standing out. If you’re putting them on a pedestal from the word go then you’re doing exactly what every other guy does, therefore, being predictable and not standing out.

By standing out I mean having your own passions in life and ultimately your own personality that makes you unique and interesting. Have your own opinions and voice them even if they greatly differ from the woman you’re pursuing. It seems counter intuitive, but this shouldn’t hurt your chances. If it is a deal breaker and you are that incompatible then you probably shouldn’t be together anyway.

johnjohntv69 · 2020-04-02T15:10:39+00:00

Sounds like your mum gave you this advice, and it’s terrible advice.

JambiChick · 2020-04-02T17:38:41+00:00

I've always struggled with putting guys on a pedestal; not EVERY guy, but those few who really get me & inspire me. They come along so seldomly that when they do I get SOOO excited I can't help but express it!

I've learned that while I shouldn't have to hide how I feel, SOME ppl get uncomfortable with it. Even if they feel the same way, they might not be used to expressing it, and I've had to learn to honor & respect how THEY deal with emotions.

Not every girl will be worth putting on a pedestal. Just make sure when you do it, you are truly seeing her for who she is now, not who you see her to potentially be. And as always, continue working on yourself & be aware they might not always be there.

sovr610 · 2020-04-03T01:53:21+00:00

I would never put women on pedestals, but you don't have to be an asshole either, too be honest I am more of the nice guy origin story. Leaving a high quality girl because she goes against your boundaries raises your sexual value 10 folds, doesn't mean it works all the time but for me it has done wonders.

Women will have (specially attractive women) will use men for dinners, coffee, and all sorts of crazy things but the guys never really get anything back other then just talking to her, these are called orbiters. The girl will usually have a guy that she has sex with and to some degree have an relationship with.

This dynamic usually changes once they are around 30, then usually the guy she was with might marry her or go finds a younger girl and the girl will pick one of the orbiters. This situation will be no sex till 3 months and its usually transaction based sex, get the honey to do list done first. Of course it is important to state this does not happen all the time!

kinda got off on a little tangent, but hope this helps!

edit: this is for like 8's and 9's from my personal experience, I have not yet dated or hooked up a 10 yet, still working on that.

bosslessmindset · 2020-04-03T12:12:04+00:00

I think a mix of old school thoughts and wisdom is getting mixed up with new school dating.

If you have a wife you should respect and treat her well. Many older people have great relationships.

BUT, dating is now completely different due to social density. So that is where not pedestalizing a woman comes into play.

Check out my rules on dating here.

Title	What do I do?
Author	Sanidhya_mitra
Upvotes	2
Comments	11
Date	April 2, 2020 12:27 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ftlgzc/what_do_i_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-do-i-do.1493362 https://theredarchive.com/post/1493362

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