What do you regret doing/not doing throughout your self-development journey?

username_my2 · 2018-01-07T20:38:47+00:00

What I regret usually is not going for a kiss earlier, my fail proof plan right now which works every time is simple:

first date in public, keep it light, funny, lots of eye contact and some physical.
second date dinner at my place, then move to the couch and kiss whenever.

simple, works always and the relationship gets interesting immediately after.

TuaMorte · 2018-01-08T01:00:58+00:00

Not approaching. Still happens all the time.

PhysiologyIsPhun · 2018-01-08T04:18:38+00:00

For me, the biggest thing I would change for the initial stage is not focusing so much on what to say, how to dress, etc. and instead focus on inner game. Inner game is what made the biggest difference to me. I have a much bigger mistake I made once I started getting good though (get your notebooks out, this goes in the "avoid" category). Don't wife up the first girl you're really in to that is attracted to you. Realize there are always going to be better options as you progress, so don't settle. Especially if you're young.

123choji · 2018-01-08T06:21:06+00:00

Getting good sleep! It makes everything easier!

NoloRadio · 2018-01-08T07:57:31+00:00

Not to get all Yoda on you, but letting go of the idea of 'regret' is actually a big one. I have tons of regrets, but I only really see them in a useful light when I consider them as things I had to experience in order to learn from them.

That said, here's a couple things I certainly took a long time to learn, and which may not be so obvious:

Almost everyone I grew up with, myself included, drank way too much in our twenties. Learning how to have a drink or two, but not black out, is like a social magic spell.
Most of us have baked-in assumptions about ourselves. We assume that even if we work out, buy nice clothes, etc, that people will still see us as we see ourselves, internally. This is almost certainly less true than you believe. People observe surface-level cues.
That said, be careful before you assume that other people are popular or socially adept because have a certain social position or degree or job or a bunch of money. In many cases, those are the factors that propel a person's confidence, and it's the confidence that gets them places.
It really is OK to be a loner for a while, while you figure this stuff out. I spent three months barely talking to anyone. I just went to the gym and thought about my life a lot. My re-entry to social life wasn't perfect, but learning how to be alone (without freaking out about it or thinking that it was a permanent condition) did amazing things for my confidence and poise.
Work on getting comfortable with discussing sex (kinks, positions, consent, dirty talk, mutual pleasure) with your sexual partners. A huge amount of the fear and lack of confidence I see among guys on this sub, comes from the paradox of wanting sex and intimacy with women, but not knowing how to do it well. I'd say 50% of this is communication skills, 25% is doing your research and knowing what you like, and 25% is being in good shape (if you have weak abs, for example, missionary sex will hurt after a couple minutes, and it can distract you from maintaining an erection, which of course affects overall confidence). If you think this doesn't have an effect on success with 'pickup' (i.e. getting girls to sleep with you), think again--when you look at a girl and know exactly what you want to do with and to her in bed, your mind relaxes and focuses on the part that matters--getting to know her.

2018-01-08T20:12:52+00:00

The day i decided i wasnt going to chase women anymore was actually the day they started taking interest in me, so i'd probably adopt that mindset earlier on. Could be coincidence though, but i cant complain either way.

dudeman1345 · 2018-01-08T21:06:17+00:00

Not getting into this shit when I was in college. I feel like I have much less options now.

Title	What do you regret doing/not doing throughout your self-development journey?
Author	eaigataquertc
Upvotes	6
Comments	14
Date	January 7, 2018 7:08 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7osk47/what_do_you_regret_doingnot_doing_throughout_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-do-you-regret-doingnot-doing-throughout-your.1439689 https://theredarchive.com/post/1439689

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