In the past I used to message back and forth for days building rapport with a girl before asking them out. I had minimal success in the 3 years of doing that.

Since asking women out within 1-3 messages, I started to secure many more dates.

Here's the issue, though.. if a date is a week away, some women have tried to keep in touch and keep building rapport with me. The problem is, I want to set a sexual frame, and yet at the same time don't want to scare them away from coming out on a date.

Once we're in person, if she hasn't slotted me as nice or sexy, I can make it swing either way.

Case in point, I got a date arranged for sat earlier in the week, but hadn't set proper frame and she was texting me like she might a boyfriend. I tried to reframe that by being a subtly suggestive and she (might) have disappeared.

Wouldn't be surprised if she cancels.

My idea has always been to minimise texts before first date for this very reason. It's creepy being sexual before you meet someone unless they're clearly up for it, too. Much easier to bring out their wild side in person.

Any thoughts? Am I off base? on base?