Alright guys, I've been working on this for awhile as I've been slowly improving myself. I've been perusing a lot of fun and interesting sub's lately in the quest of bettering myself and learning something new. Places I've been learning from lately;

  • /r/malefashionadvice Dressing well is important. The distinction can be subtle yet yield great results.

  • /r/bodyweightfitness My new preferred method of workout. Exercise is important, as is diet.

  • /r/SkincareAddiction Nice looking and feeling skin goes far. I've cured my oily skin and it's made me sexier.

  • /r/AskWomen Legit womens insight, great information and point of view. Read there, lots to learn.

  • Here

All the shit I've learned has done a few things right off the bat.

  • I'm more comfortable in my own skin. I am always comfortable because comfort is a frame of mind. Comfort follows you wherever you go because it comes from within. It is not external.

I've got a snaggle tooth. I'm fat (but two-thirds to my goal weight). I'm starting to bald. None of that matters, I'm comfortable and that shows above all else.

  • My conversations have become more free flowing and at ease than ever, instead of wondering what I should say, how I should say it, etc etc.

This did not come from reading lines, or having canned material. It came from being relaxed, comfortable and confident. Yes, these things are not easy to achieve -- When you don't have confidence and can't be comfortable or relaxed that's like telling someone to 'just win the lottery' when they say they need money. The way to gain these amazing traits is letting go of everything. Let go of your fears. Don't be afraid of vulnerability. Build comfort with everybody.

  • I'm relaxed and aloof naturally, I've learned how to play into that more properly instead of having personality quirks that grate against my demeanor.

I've always been this way, but my attitude wasn't congruent with my demeanor because I was trying to be normal instead of just trying to be me. I am aloof and relaxed, it grates against my personality when I act super excited or talk really fast, because it doesn't match my personality and it comes off as fake.

  • Now that i'm comfortable my walk has become sexier; Yes, this is a thing. I've noticed a few days after becoming significantly more comfortable and confident with myself that I've been getting a lot of glances from women and dudes.

When I walk down the street, the campus, the aisles, the parking lot you name it. I. Get. Attention. And it feels amazing. As a fat guy and former extremely fat guy (think biggest loser size) I used to be invisible, now i'm the exact opposite. I can't walk anywhere without getting glances from ladies and I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it.

  • I'm way more approachable. I've been opened by multiple ladies and by guys interested in getting to know me. This has further boosted my self-confidence and comfort level. As someone whose always been accused of being standoffish, this is a major accomplishment.

I've been opened by women and approached by guys. I feel like a high value male, and that alone makes people see me that way and seek my attention and approval. When I talk everybody listens. When I walk into a room you can feel it. When I crack a lame joke everyone laughs. These things have all come out of my approachable personality. Before when I was standoffish it didn't matter how good my joke was, nobody would care. When I used to walk into a room people felt it, but what they felt was uneasy. Now people feel calm around me, before you could cut the tension with a knife.

Also goes without saying; Women want what other women want. As soon as I was opened by an extremely sexy blonde girl in the seat in front of me the attractive Asian girl to my right couldn't stop glancing at me. This can, will and should start a small chain reaction of interested women. Even if you aren't interested in them back, this is a great thing as it demonstrates your value to others.

I talk to the pretty girl on my right because I feel like it. Not because she has a nice ass, not because I've got a pant-ripping boner for her, not because I want a date. Just for the human connection alone. It feels good to meet new people, and it feels good to try new things and most importantly It feels good to fail. Wait, what? Yes, it feels good to fail, because each time you feel stronger from it. I could walk up to a group of hotties and get blown out and laughed at and not give a single fuck, last year that might have made me self-conscious for months and regress all the progress I'd made.

Honesty here; The first girl I approached rolled her eyes at me and walked away.. How do you think I took it? I went fucking home. First open ever, bad result, go home and give up. The only way I got over it was experiencing it again and again, and that helped me gain my confidence, comfort level and lowered my anxiety which made me more relaxed.

  • Talk to girls like they're friends.

Really, do this. I treat girls like an old friend when I meet them, they're chill, I'm chill, we'll get along it's that simple. But what if they're attractive? Well let me ask you this; How the fuck do you know they're attractive? Have you gotten to know them, or are they just hot? I've met plenty of hot chicks who became quite ugly once I saw their true colors and some average looking gals who became amazing when I saw them for who they were.

  • Once you're attracted keep it to the basics; Strong eye contact, smirk, light kino, look at her lips and lick yours. Bonus points look in her eyes and imagine fucking her 'till she hates her pussy.

If they're receptive everything from there will open up easily. One of my favorite kino tests that I basically use as a green light is turning a high-five into interlocking fingers. If you high five a girl and open your fingers a little she'll either instinctively do the same and clasp hands with you or retreat. If they clasp hands with me that's the greenest light you could imagine and 75% of kino is just fine after that point.

Strong eye contact goes without saying, it's a large indicator of interest to women and makes you come off as confident, assured and comfortable. Smirking is also quite sexy, there's a time for smiles and a time for smirks. I prefer to smile during conversation unless I'm being a smart ass, then i'll smirk. For me, smirking is most effective when I'm overtly showing interest or first approaching, but that's me and how I jive.

Looking at her lips is extremely overt, as is licking your lips. Don't be afraid to check her out but don't be a creep about it. I LOVE to go from the eyes to the lips, lick my lips then back to the eyes.

When looking in a girls eyes and imagining just smashing her in the bedroom she can clearly tell what you're thinking, this has been mentioned many times here and it's absolutely true.

I've grown in a lot of ways over the last year. I've come to realize who I was, what works for me and the best way to present myself to people. As a person who was always invisible, insecure, standoffish and reclusive I feel like my life has changed for the best. These things have greatly helped me, and I sincerely hope someone out there gains something from this post.