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Ice666White
[–]wei534 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
The way you describe this, it makes sense. But if you actually want to be more than friends, there should be hint somewhere that this is a man-to-woman interaction. Without this, it just becomes way harder to escalate, especially if you've already met more than once and interacted only as friends.
[–]cinsolidarity 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It probably would take a lot of the tension out and the high stakes "interview" feel of it to come from a friend frame, but I'd imagine you'd likely want to touch her somehow early to avoid being friendzoned
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[–]smoothmax 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Instead of the Friend Frame you should maintain the Lover Frame. You are already lovers.
[–]Ocean01 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Sorry, everything makes sense, but what do you mean when you use the word frame?
Also, this really helped me understand what I need to do with a girl I’ve been speaking to, so thanks very much.
[–]Ice666White[S] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Frame. How you frame a conversation. How you frame your life. Being framed for a crime you did not commit.
Those are some common sentences with its use that should help you understand it better. It took me 2 years to understand frames, it's a relatively advanced concept.
[–]Ocean01 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks that really helps! where did you come across all these concepts?
[–]Ice666White[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Frames were already around, I saw them mentioned in The Game by Neil Strauss.
Then I dived deeper into it via discussions and experience, particularly by Message Game.
[–]Jennesse 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Totally agree. To discuss about these topics group chats are awesome! Multiple people can see the situation from a different angle and can give you advices.
I genuinely recommend you to join the Telegram groups!
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas[M] [score hidden] 6 years ago stickied comment (0 children) | Copy Link
There's a lot of arguing centered around semantics here, due to you choosing the words, "dating frame" and "casual frame" as you have.
I get what you mean and you have some good points, but since dating can be casual or serious, a lot of your time and others is being taken just arguing over definitions that have been long settled in our common usage of the words.
[–]DarvidTorres 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, building a Friend's Frame allows you to cut off the shyness in her of meeting a stranger, and then this will be Warm Approach because you'll be just part of the other guys with whom she's already comfortable. But then again, and mostly for newbies, you have to know how to escalate from there to sex.
[–]Ice666White[S] -2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
If you're being friendzoned, FRIENDZONE HER!
Think about how you can change the formula!
[–]Lmaowhatsaseconddate 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I want her in the fuckzone not the friendzone.
[–]Ice666White[S] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You can only have a friendzone if you have abundance. And you're telling me by saying this that you're not abundant.
[–]kenlawlpt 6 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Hey I'll have to disagree with this. If someone wants to friendzone you, if what you truly want is something romantic, be direct and say, "I'm interested in you romantically. I had a great time with you, but I'm not looking for something platonic. Let me know if you ever change your mind." Then you walk away, and you let her come to you at her own pace.
[–]CheekyEmu 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Then you walk away, and you let her come to you at her own pace.
I agree, with the caveat that she probably won't come after you, and you need to be ok with that.
[–]CheekyEmu -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think you're onto something with the frames. But your dating frame is missing some element of physicality and sexual tension. It basically looks like a friend frame to me. I say this because...
you go out on a date and talk about yourself to each other and ask each other questions
I do this alllll the time, and get friend zoned majorly. Girls take it as a sign that I'm not sexual / physical, but that I'm a great person to have deep, caring, best-friend type of conversations with. I'm learning how to set a better dating frame, because....
friendships do not ever truly fail
This isn't true. For years, I've been investing in friendships with my failed romantic interests, to the point of the majority of my friends being women that I was somewhat attracted to, with the exception of my best friend who was married to one of those women. About a year ago, it backfired majorly and all of those women turned on me after I rejected a mutual friend of theirs and used the fact that I had been interested in them in the past as ammunition to accuse me of ulterior motives in our friendships. As a result, my best friend also turned on me (siding with his wife) and I was left with no friends at all, which severely hampered my dating life. Friendships can and do fail.
I wouldn't call that a friendship.
'your dating frame is missing some element of physicality and sexual tension'
That's because it doesn't have physicality or sexual tension. Most dates that have ever happened never had physicality or sexual tension.
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[–]wei534 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]cinsolidarity 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]smoothmax 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ocean01 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ice666White[S] -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ocean01 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Ice666White[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jennesse 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DarvidTorres 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ice666White[S] -2 points-1 points0 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lmaowhatsaseconddate 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Ice666White[S] -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kenlawlpt [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CheekyEmu 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CheekyEmu -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Ice666White[S] -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link