Ok, so here is an epiphany I had tonight - I was wondering if I could get your guys' thoughts.

I grew up in a very loving family and an awesome, supportive, loyal group of friends. I couldn't imagine life without them - they are my rock when things get tough, and are always there for me. Because of their influence I think I am a pretty good friend myself.

As I grew up and went to college, however, I realized that not everybody was like me or my friends. A lot of people were shitty, or flaked, or whatever. I just assumed that these people didn't like me. As I got into PUA I realized that sometimes if you acted a certain way sometimes you could get people to like you. I even learned that some of the techniques you learn in PUA can be used to "game" guys into liking you and respecting you.

But through all this PUA stuff, I was hoping to dig past people's rough exterior to find that warm, loving, loyal person I know I have within me and my friends also have. Some of you guys are here to just fuck, but I also know that some of you are here to make a deep, lasting, emotional connection with a girl. And, now that I'm 30, I am coming to realize that, well, some people just are not capable of that.

The reason I'm writing this rant is that one of my good friends flaked on me tonight. Let's say his name is J. He was visiting from out of town for work and we made plans to meet up tonight. I haven't seen him in a year and this is the first time he's been to my town. I texted him earlier and I still haven't heard back. I stopped caring about girls flaking on me a long time ago, but to have one of my good friends from high school flake on me like this kind of hurts.

Now, my initial reaction would be to say "well, J just doesn't like you." But the fact is, that J has always been a "good" friend of mine in the sense that we always hung out, he would call me, I would call him. He invited me to his parties, I invited him to mine, etc... But most importantly, I know that he doesn't have any better friends. If he doesn't like ME then he doesn't like anybody. The whole time I knew him I knew he was kind of a shitty, self-centered person, but for some reason I thought that now that he is 30 he might have grown up. Well, nope.

The point is that some people just don't have that warm, loving, center core. I am not going to pretend I am an angel - I have flaked on people, I have been an asshole, etc... But I always did that to people I didn't like or respect. But I was always warm and loving with my friends - and I now realize that some people are not even warm and loving with their friends. They are shitty to everybody, and they usually end up dying alone. J has always been an extremely good looking, rich, and popular guy. But he has never really had any friends. Tons of beautiful women throw themselves at him, but he has not been able to sustain a real relationship. Maybe he is insecure, maybe he is selfish. I don't know. And I am not trying to make J look like a psychopath - there are plenty of people like him, both men and women. And it is a disease that doesn't understand race, religion, gender, etc... I have dated women like this - charming, sweet, pretty, but just utterly soulless - all their relationships fall to shit, their friendships are a mess, that are constantly complaining, etc...

The point I am making with this post is that we need to stop digging and trying to find that warm, loving core in people. Some people just don't have it. They may flake and disrespect you once, and then apologize, but they will do it again. I am not saying that people can't change - it is certainly possible, but it is extremely difficult and isn't something that just happens.

We are all in situations where we are hoping that if we "game" some girl enough she will start to come around or that if we are nice to her enough she will come to accept us. For these girls, the truth his either that they just don't like you enough or they don't have that loving beautiful core you are seeking. It's not that they are hiding it from you - it's that they don't have it, and they don't give it to anybody. It is a horrible and sad realization - to realize that there are people that will never enjoy the pleasure of a loving friendship or a deep, lasting relationship. These people just have a hole in their soul. All of their relationships are built on manipulation, and they only see people as objects to be used and discarded when they are not important anymore.

The good news? To figure out who these people are, all you have to do is look at their actions. What you see is what you get.