What's the difference between pursuing a girl , whilst making your intentions clear vs being needy and desperate

JustAteTooMuchKFC · 2019-12-16T13:51:14+00:00

Making your intentions clear is: to show her that you have an interest with your ACTIONS. Not words.

Examples:

Asking her phone number or Instagram.
Asking her out on a date.
Kissing her.
Underessing her (a sign that shit is about to go down)
etc.

You are showing her that you are interested, but not how much interest you have. So she will know that you have interest, but not how much. That will let her think about you and your intentions. The more she thinks about you, the more she will fall in love.

Being needy/desperate is: telling her how you feel about her. Showing interest with your WORDS. Not actions.

Examples:

Saying: “I really loved the date yesterday.” too soon.
Saying: “I think I like you” too soon.
Saying: “I think I love you” too soon.
Saying: “I want to see you again” too soon.
etc.

Notice that I put “too soon” behind every example. It is OK to say that you love her when you are months in the relationship and when she has already said it to you. It is OK to tell that you liked spending time yesterday night with her, when you are months in a relationship. But not too soon. Neediness comes from loving her too soon, while you don’t even know her. Then you don’t love her, you love what she represents. You love being with a girl, but not necessarily with her. She will feel that and she will feel that it is not about her, that it’s not personal.

So show your intentions by ACTION, not by WORDS. And only show affection when she has deserved it. That is only fair towards a woman, it will give her the feeling that she is special.

AceDudeyeah · 2019-12-16T16:40:02+00:00

Neediness is when you compromise your own energy to get someone else's energy. It's when you keep walking after a woman on a cold approach or keep trying to spark conversation with a wall on a date.
In text message, it's when you keep trying to get good responses because you're unsure of how she'll respond to a date.

Your own mood/energy never goes down during and after you pursue a woman. You can go all in and just shrug it off if they didn't like it because who would have wasted more time on someone not enthusiastic about you anyways? It's when you get in front of the woman on a cold approach and say "Excuse me, this is random but I'd like to talk to you for a second."
Or on a date when you share something valuable and passionate about yourself to see if she has similar qualities and if she still isn't responding, wish her well and ask for the check.
In text message, it's when you respond genuinely and when you want to and ask her out when you want to see her. Not when you spend time overthinking and overanalyzing what to send and when. If you're worried you might be too frequent or infrequent for her, it's a sign that you need her more than she needs you and the relationship is doomed to fail with the assymetry. The way to fix that is to have better things to worry about and know that you are a quality guy who only makes time and contacts those that do the same for him.

grubsztyl · 2019-12-16T21:01:49+00:00

There's some excellent responses here. The way I approach dating nowadays is just leaving some things unspoken. It's like me and my date have a silent agreement, we like each other and agree to continue dating - there's no need to talk about it unless there's some very mixed signals involved. Just do what you got to do and keep your relation fun and drama free. Don't seek reaffirmation that everything's going well, that makes you look needy.. if it was going bad, she wouldn't agree to go out with you, right? I'm not entirely sure what do you mean by "making your intentions clear".. you want to date her, you give her attention, seems clear enough to me?

WIA20XX · 2019-12-16T14:34:37+00:00

Her attraction to you

Title	What's the difference between pursuing a girl , whilst making your intentions clear vs being needy and desperate
Author	JoJosKebabShop
Upvotes	5
Comments	6
Date	December 16, 2019 12:23 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ebehgx/whats_the_difference_between_pursuing_a_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-the-difference-between-pursuing-a-girl.1486270 https://theredarchive.com/post/1486270

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