Yesterday I went to a late lunch with a woman who I met via FB.

At the end of the meal, she said, "I'm not sure I'm going to your apartment. We just met."

I didn't try to sell her on changing her mind, just said she'd have fun and that I had weed (we'd discussed earlier about smoking together -- on another date).

She had another drink and I asked, "Would you like to go to a bar <at a location near my apartment>?"

She answered, "No, let's go to your place and smoke."

So, after a bit of kissing and so forth back at my apartment, she says, "I'm not going to fuck."

I said something like, okay, but it would be nice.

She said, "If I fuck you today, you won't ask me out again, and you won't like me <for being the kind of girl who would fuck so fast>"

So I asked her to join me at a party on Saturday (a genuine ask) and she said yes.

Next I escalated the kissing until she said something positive like "I like you" and without responding verbally I stood and took her hand and then said something "come on then" and she followed me to the bedroom (and was totally comfortable after that point).

I think in the past I've gotten too much into verbal sparring over the question at hand, i.e. going back to my place, or going to the bedroom, or even just kissing.

I think the better way to play this is to put the question back into her head as still unanswered.

Of course, maybe she decided she was going to fuck me when she first messaged me on FB and I was just along for the ride....if that's the case the only thing was to not fuck up her quest by being stupid in some way.