Why is it easier to get laid than having a relationship?

BScarecrow88 · 2017-08-29T05:24:53+00:00

You are a regular Casanova, aren't you? You have to indicate to her that you are interested in a relationship. Fucking can be a strictly physical experience where two people are attracted to each other and want to capitalize on that accordingly. Then after that is out of your system, something more meaningful can arrive.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-08-29T11:42:20+00:00

__1__

I know a lot of people may envy this lifestyle but after a while you do start to realize it's just sex and nothing positive comes from it except for physical satisfaction.

I get you, man. My buddy went through the same journey you're on, a few years before I went through it. And like others here, I thought he was crazy for saying things like, "Is that all you want?" when a girl would come onto him for sex. It's not something a person can understand easily until they go through it. Until then, it's just going to be the kind of problem that they wish they had.

Having said this, I've moved past this sort of thing to where I have had relationships or casual sex, depending on the situation. You can get past it.

Have you found that it gets addictive, once you see that a few moves here or there would lead to sex? Do you feel compelled to see it through once you see the potential for something to happen? If this describes you, then you're going to have to work on things like your boundaries. It's easy to find yourself adapting to what will land you in bed with someone. But you'll have to start thinking about the kind of person you really want to date. And keeping to some standards in only opening up to that kind of person.

__2__

I can't for the life of me get a girl to have interest in actually dating me. It's like some are at first then they give some excuse like "I just got out of a long relationship so I need to be single for now" or they just kinda show disinterest etc.

This is what happens when you establish a pattern of being the kind of guy to go to for a good time. You're going to have girls who seek you out just for that. Or they're going to pick up on the vibe and you've only reinforced that vibe by going along with it for the fun of it, for however many years it's been.

But you're going to have to draw the line. You might have to be alone romantically and sexually for a time, just to re-wire. Especially if you're addicted to any of this. Like at least 3 months of just hanging with friends and nothing more. You're going to have to practice saying no and/or getting used to squashing desire if it starts to spark in a girl. Because it's HIGHLY likely that, until you re-wire yourself, the girls you attract are going to be the wrong kinds of girls. Right now there are things you're going to be doing just out of habit, and you need time to unlearn those things and find a new balance.

And when you get back into the saddle, you're going to have to get used to the idea of waiting for sex. Escalating is no problem, but waiting for sex will help let you know if you're dealing with someone who is looking for something serious. If they're only after casual, they won't stick around while you wait a few weeks.

throwaway2342234 · 2017-08-29T05:09:27+00:00

Do you demonstrate any way you can make her life more meaningful if you're in it?

Also, sometimes when sex happens before the "should we date?" talk, it can hurt your chances at a relationship

zackamite · 2017-08-29T06:39:09+00:00

Holy shit. Have you been hitting it since middle school?

King_Pyrrhus · 2017-08-29T06:54:34+00:00

19 as well except with a body count of 20 and one relationship so far that ended recently.

Are these recurring fucks or one offs?

Relationships tend to happen if you spend time together with the person mate.

If you're only seeing them once or twice a week then nothing much will come of it, which is ideal if you don't want a relationship.

Invite them for a game of tennis or something fun, outside of just sleeping with them. They may just think of you as a booty call otherwise like others have pointed out.

My rule is 1-2 a week, fuck buddy. Anything more fuck buddy becomes more like fwb which might change into relationship....

At 19 you don't want a relationship. Trust me, keep going out and having fun compadre :)

DavidGolani11 · 2017-08-29T07:36:47+00:00

It sounds like you don't know who YOU are yet. Time to do a Walkabout and figure out where you're going before you start looking for her.

GentleDrift · 2017-08-29T08:58:03+00:00

Do you have trouble maintaining meaningful relationships in general? Do you have an excessive sex drive? False belief in superiority? Impulsivity? Racing thoughts?

Maybe you have bipolar disorder.

EDIT: I'm not a doctor and also I don't really know you, but maybe you should speak to one

jyc782 · 2017-08-29T18:05:29+00:00

Have you read Models by Mark Manson? Sounds like your game is lacking emotional vulnerability aspect to it.

NTSpike · 2017-08-29T04:30:15+00:00

Haha what an interesting case.

What do you think it is that pushes girls away? How are you able to escalate to sex and keep interest but then lose it after?

It could be over aggression leading them to labeling you as just a fuck, maybe you're really unskilled and they don't care for repeats, or you have some weird quirk you're unaware of.

Hard to diagnose.

trueself312 · 2017-08-29T08:17:33+00:00

Seems like a lot of jealous people here lol from the sounds of it, you might have trouble opening up, so the girls have nothing to grab on to after the initial attraction.

Its a tricky process, but the book Models by Mark Manson may help. Its mostly from the perspective from the side of men having trouble with women but the end result sounds like what you want, fulfilling relationships. The topic on vulnerability might interest you.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-08-29T06:33:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Why is it easier to get laid than having a relationship?
Author	JocBro3
Upvotes	3
Comments	27
Date	August 29, 2017 4:14 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6wovgq/why_is_it_easier_to_get_laid_than_having_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-is-it-easier-to-get-laid-than-having-a.1287972 https://theredarchive.com/post/1287972

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