Why is touching called kino. Also looking for suggestions on how to initiate it without being creepy.

mynewname · 2010-03-03T03:36:32+00:00

I read What Every Body is Saying. Great book on body language, and, especially for a "soft science" book, it comes off as very credible. The guy was an FBI agent, has great concrete stories of how he's applied it, and he gets into the evolutionary basis for a lot of body language displays. I've also found my female friends love to talk about what their body language says about them.

Kino (from "kinesthetic") is something you just get used to pretty quickly. I kino people in a non-game setting now and I think it's the mark of a good communicator in general. Kino done right just becomes another part of the conversation like tone, pacing, or volume, that the recipient doesn't even notice or remember specifically. They just remember, "That guy was interesting to talk to."

The keys to kino are: (1) briefness, (2) timing, and (3) location

Any longer than a half second and has this lingering aftertaste to it. It can be unwelcome, creepy, and more importantly, it's much more noticeable.
If you're making an emphatic point when you talk, you'll notice that you gesture as you make the point. This is hard-wired into your brain. Kino is the same way. Think of it as an emphatic highlighter to something you're saying. It just comes naturally out of a high point in the conversation.
Kino is non-sexual. Erogenous zones are of course off limits. I've found the back of the hand, back of the wrist, and lower forearm are all perfectly good places that don't make anyone uncomfortable.

A pretty nice demonstration of some of this can be found in Jon Stewart's interview with Dana Perino

Watch for a cute little neg at about 2:17 and kino at 2:40. This stuff should feel natural, not creepy, and as you get more practiced with it, it will.

Listro · 2010-03-03T01:50:34+00:00

Don't be so focused on books. Reading is good and I highly recommend it. But, if you swamp yourself in all these books you're going to fuck yourself up worse than when you started. Try to practice as much as you read and include books completely unrelated to pick up so you can stay human or at least human-like.

For touching and with most things I do, I usually do it for a reason. If I want a girl to go in a certain direction with me, my hand will guide her in that direction (either by holding her hand or by the small of her back). If a girl says something that makes me laugh, i'll touch her while complimenting her about whatever she says. If she's happy/sad/does something good/etc. I'll hug her and sometimes i'll even announce it. "Wow, you're awesome. You're getting a hug!" Also, I just touch in general because I enjoy it and am completely comfortable with it.

Another thing, I sometimes start out touching the person in a "safer" area at first. This is the outer upper area of the body, such as the upper arm or the wrist. Then I work my way all around her body as I see fit.

Taking ballroom dancing classes can help too because they are pretty good with teaching a person to touch firmly and how to lead a person.

After you've done this awhile, please take everything I and everyone else told you, throw it out the window and do it your own way based on what you want.

Book List: The Fountainhead - Ayn Rand

Audio Listening: Alan Watts

mynewname · 2010-03-03T03:18:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rmbarnes · 2010-03-08T23:16:57+00:00

Because otherwise PUAs would have to go up to their wingman while he's in set and say, "Touch her, dude!"

Title	Why is touching called kino. Also looking for suggestions on how to initiate it without being creepy.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	15
Date	March 3, 2010 12:47 AM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/b8h0h/why_is_touching_called_kino_also_looking_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-is-touching-called-kino-also-looking-for.1309916 https://theredarchive.com/post/1309916

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