Intimacy is a psychological need. Just like our body depends on food and water to survive, our mental and emotional health hinges upon our ability to form strong intimate connections with others.

If you’re one of those guys who feels like nobody will ever want you, then this message isn’t for you. You already know exactly how much that hurts, and how it holds you back in every other area of your life. You’ve either already realized that working on your skills with women is not a choice, or you’ve come to the conclusion that nothing you do will ever change anything so you’re not going to listen to anything I have to say anyway.

This is for the guys who KNOW they’re not good with women, but who are still capable of getting a girlfriend. Just not the kind of girlfriend that they REALLY want. In other words, the kind of guys who often end up settling.

The danger of settling is that it usually doesn’t feel like settling. Your brain is wired to seek romantic relationships. If you have very limited options, then it will literally trick you into thinking those options are better than they actually are. If your opportunities for relationships are few and far between, then your brain will turn a blind eye to MASSIVE red flags, all to avoid compromising the precious opportunity you have right in front of you.

This has enormous consequences, that only manifest later on in the relationship. Best case scenario is you end up marrying someone that isn’t really compatible with you and your marriage sucks. Worst case scenario? I’ve seen guys who’ve been deeply emotionally traumatized by manipulative and toxic partners to the point where they end up as shells of their former selves.

Part of this stems from the fact that if you don’t think you can get your need for intimacy satisfactorily met outside of the relationship, then you’re going to do whatever it takes to keep the relationship intact. It’s going to be impossible for you to set boundaries, you’re going to surrender your values, and even alter your very identity because you think it will make your partner happy.

Don’t get me wrong, learning seduction can be a brutal process. It forces you to look past all the bullshit you tell yourself to protect your ego from being hurt. It requires that you face countless rejections, as well as innumerable failures. It can bring to the surface some of your darkest fears and traumas.

It’s not an easy road to take at all. But what’s the alternative?