For men, sex and trust are mostly unrelated. When we see a hot girl, we’re probably down to fuck her. If it turns out she’s crazy, we’ll just kick her out and never talk to her again.

For women, sex and trust are intimately connected. If a girl fucks a guy who turns out to be crazy, he could easily injure or even kill her.

The average man is more than twice as strong as the average woman. When a girl goes home with a guy she just met, she’s taking a real risk – she needs to be confident that she can trust him.

Trust is also important for women on a more primal level. The female brain associates having sex with the risk of pregnancy (our subconscious mind doesn’t understand the existence of birth control and condoms).

Because of this, a woman wants to know that if she sleeps with a man, he’s going to stick around.

Women are faced with a paradox: they want their children to have the genes of a high status man, but high status men are less likely to commit to any individual woman (because they have so many options).

Behaviors that display high status often show a lack of commitment.

Teasing a girl, for example, is a high status behavior because it shows that you don’t care much about whether the girl rejects you. But teasing also implies that you’re not committed to the girl.

Society at large advocates that we attract women by building trust, by giving a girl compliments, a lot of attention, and winning her over by showing her how much we care.

But these behaviors imply that we are of lower status than the girl, you wouldn’t put so much effort into getting someone unless you saw her as a prize to be won.

How is it possible to show a girl that you both have high status and are invested in her? The best solution is to balance high status behaviors with trust building behaviors:

Compliment the girl, but also tease her.

Listen carefully when a woman is talking, but if you disagree with something she says, tell her so.

Make her feel like she’s the most important person in the world, but also make it clear that you’ll leave if she doesn’t stay within your boundaries of acceptable behavior.

This strategy is sometimes referred to as hot and cold or push and pull, you’re actively balancing the two things that women want most: a confident alpha male and a guy who is willing to invest deeply in a woman.

Most men get stuck on one of these two notes, it’s extremely rare for a guy to balance both emotional investment and high status - and that’s why it’s so powerful (if you can pull it off).

This is easier said than done, we naturally fall into a pattern of either building trust or displaying high status, we keep hitting whichever of those two notes we’re comfortable with.

This is the classic case of the guy who befriends a girl, is always nice to her, spends all his time with her, but ends up in the friend zone.

Oftentimes guys who’ve learned about game fall into the opposite pattern, they’ll tease a girl and show disinterest in her to the point where she becomes so offended she leaves the interaction.

For example, you might compliment a girl which to show you’re invested in a girl, but then you could follow up that compliment with a playful tease which will show her you are highly self-confident.

When you’re interacting with women you should strive to both create trust and raw sexual attraction.

If a girl doesn’t trust you, she’s going to keep her guard up - this will make it practically impossible to create sexual tension.

Trust doesn’t turn a girl on by itself, but it opens the door so that she’s open to your influence.

In other articles, I’ll explain how to determine whether your interactions need more trust or more sexual attraction - but for now, know that both are extremely important to women.

If a girl doesn’t trust a guy, she won’t go home with him because to do is a serious risk to her personal safety. Yet, if a girl trusts a guy but doesn’t feel a spark, she has no motivation to be anything more than his friend.