Just started reading a very interesting book on self perception called Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. The title sounds culty, but it doesn’t appear to be that way so far.

A big premise in opening portions is how our self-perception defines our actions and ultimate success. It’s extremely difficult to achieve a goal if we inherently believe something negative about ourselves in relation to that goal.

If we replay our failures in our heads, or verbalize our failures, it sets the precedent for failure. It’s like someone wanting to start a successful business but believing they don’t have the smarts to be successful.

The same applies to having more success with women and dating. A lot of guys will say things such as “I’m bad with women”, “I always get ghosted or rejected.” Those are framed as negative, permanent facts.

Even if you logically know you can improve and want to, it’s critical to stop the self belief that you are bad with women, you’re prone to rejection, or you lack confidence.

If you believe you’re not good women: Instead, view dating and attraction as a skill. A skill that you’re beginning to learn, and no man will be perfect at. No one escapes rejection, and it’s not something that just happens to you.

When you think of your experiences with women, don’t default to the negative. Think of your successes, the times when you felt attractive and successful with women, not the rejections and ghosting. If you don’t have successes, visualize yourself being successful.

TLDR: Your self perception sets the foundation for your success. If you believe that you are bad with women, it will be extremely difficult to have success as long as you hold onto that self belief