I (M57) have been married for 32 years. Wife (F60) has been stay at home mom since kids were born. Kids are adults, 31 and 27
Our marriage hasn’t been the greatest…. I worked all this time, sometimes 2 jobs, to provide for the family. Never cheated…
15 years ago she suddenly went off… accusing me of cheating, calling me at work, calling my coworkers… I tried to find out what was going on with her, asked her to go to counseling, she refused… constantly fighting…. Our kids at that time were in high school and kept asking me if I was gonna divorce their mom… I told them no…
Eventually she calmed down after 2-3 years but the damage was done… i already withdrew…
I first brought up divorce 10 years ago, and she went ballistic and accused me of infidelity, wasting her life. It was such a huge guilt trip i backed off and just settled in the routine…
I tried a couple of businesses with some success, but for the last 2 years this business has drained my 401k. It was successful at first but last couple of years have been tough. She blames me for losing the money. Any support from her has always been half hearted. Im ready to pivot and I feel she’s just going to bring the negativity on any new ventures. When she’s not arguing with me she’s amicable and she’s decent towards me.
Let’s not forget the sex… or lack of…
maybe 6-7times a year, and I literally have to beg, initiate… it’s always something with her.
The issue is I feel responsible for her because she has no source of income…. I’ve tried to encourage her to at least finish college or get a certificate but she finds a way not to. She is smart enough to invest some money and make good returns in the stock market… but she depends on money i give her to trade. We have a home that’s appreciated in value and will give us at least 500k if we sell. But I’d rather have her stay in house until my daughter moves out.
I have my own routine, outdoorsy type, but she doesn’t like to do anything I would do, and vice a versa.
Im just having a difficult time on how to tell her I want a divorce.