Strange article

cromulent_weasel · 2020-01-13T01:59:23+00:00

Thanks for sharing this.

From the time they are very young, boys face pressures to look, talk, walk, play and act in acceptably masculine ways. Man-making is unforgiving, driving a boy to hide aspects of who he truly is.

This bit I think is BS (or atleast, is something we are actively working to undermine as parents). I can't remember the last time I cried. I might have been about 10 when my rabbit had to be put down. I want to raise sons who are still able to cry even as adults. There's lots of anecdotes about social blowback from that, I think think we'll get there.

For most of the rest of the article I think it's pretty spot on. It seems like he thinks 'listening' is a magic word, when different boys have different personalities and respond to situations differently. One of our boys has an ego you could shatter rocks with, while the other is far more vulnerable to peer pressure.

On the other hand, his assumption is: boys essentially have to get rid of 'toxic masculinity' and stop harassing girls - he mentions #metoo all the time, though being very vague about what it has to do with the behavior of young boys.

For me the general thrust of the article was this: listen to your boys, so that you can communicate with them and they feel heard. The #metoo stuff I thought was a bit of a red herring.

2020-01-12T18:44:02+00:00

He doesn't mention girls/women at any point? So it's indeed strange what #MeToo has to do with anything or why he mentions it.

mtcapri · 2020-01-14T01:34:18+00:00

It makes the same mistake as the rest of the feminist movement makes in addressing men's issues: it only looks at half the problem. Listen to your boys, be kind and compassionate to them, but don't address the societal problems men face and don't criticize women for contributing to them (well, I don't actually believe in this last one, but I do wish feminists would stop criticizing men in the same fashion).

This is the problem with the toxic masculinity approach to men's issues: it treats the essential problem as one that exists in the minds of men, rather than systemic problems that exist in society. Rather than attack societal institutions, it treats men and boys and their behavior as the problem.

This comparison has been made a thousand times before, but I'll make it a thousand-and-one: this is no different than blaming the problems Blacks face in society on Black behavior.

highmrk · 2020-01-13T02:20:48+00:00

It’s an alright article with good intentions. The main thing I would press him on is asking what a boy REALLY is. He has a claim to know some universal knowledge, his proverbial red pill if you will, so I wish he would explain more. Cuz it’s a huge claim lmao

The reason he needs to make this explicit is because this can easily turn against boys. Anybody can just say “oh well I care about boys” but that can easily lead into something silly like “so I’m gonna make sure they never play sports because that has toxic masculinity,” which would obv not help boys. (Dumb example, but I’ve literally heard that in regards to football.) Tho it’s a short article, so I get it that he didn’t have the space.

Oh and note he doesn’t mention the role of fathers. Yeah of course all adults should listen to their boys, but it’s qualitatively different when it’s from a father, grandfather, uncle, etc.

spudmix · 2020-01-13T01:27:05+00:00

The author mentions #MeToo precisely once in the body of the article, the words "toxic masculinity" never (despite your quote marks?) and there is also no mention of harassment or girls at all. You accuse the author of "convictions" which prevent an open mind.

Do you think you might be unfairly dismissing the author here, perhaps because you're reacting strongly to the mention of topics like toxic masculinity and #MeToo?

mewacketergi · 2020-01-13T16:35:39+00:00

"Less bad than it was before" is a good sign with the feminist columnists, but we can still do so much better for ourselves.

Title	Strange article
Author	Blauwpetje
Upvotes	14
Comments	13
Date	January 12, 2020 6:01 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/enqsrc/strange_article/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/strange-article.1064177 https://theredarchive.com/post/1064177

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