Being ignored kinda sucks

Rottinghere · 2021-02-22T09:49:28+00:00

[deleted]

strongandhappy · 2021-02-22T06:06:27+00:00

I put up with that for years. I'm basically a response only person now. If you want my time or attention you ask for it and make it worth my time. Now I only spend time with friends who have proven themselves over the years. You CANNOT assert yourself as a man in any aspect of life while putting up with that shit.

Mawoto · 2021-02-22T06:09:28+00:00

Most of those "friends" will likely talk to you or come to you, when they need something from you. Anything at all.

They will probably going to spend some time with you, if they are bored, or they dont have someone else to go out, and who they call, you. If things are lined for them as they want, they don't give a fuck about you.

iseedeer · 2021-02-22T06:57:08+00:00

It's not your fault, bro. Society is falling apart before our eyes. It's real.

I feel for young men coming of age in today's society because everyone has gone full mercenary but still expect young men to 'step up' and 'do the right thing' and 'contribute'.

First, get off social media. It's cancer. Did you know McDonalds has a lab where they research which additives are most effective at getting people addicted to their food? Fucked up right? Social media is worse. They design that shit so that you feel alone when you're not plugged in. At the very least, get it off your phone and budget an hour or two a week where you do social media stuff on your laptop. But ideally, cut all of it.

So now social media is off your phone and you have all this free time? Great, now focus on two things: 1) being productive, 2) learning skills that will make future you more productive.

How to be productive?

Get a job, doesn't matter what. Bag groceries, work construction over the summer, stock shelves, work security. Learn as much as you can, then move on to the next job. If you can read, write, do arithmetic, and can show up on time you will always find that next job.

How to learn skills that make future you more productive?

Think back on the construction job where you were picking up trash on site. Remember that guy who operated that crazy 4WD extending forklift thing? You ask him about it and turns out it's called a telehandler and you can take a class for a couple hundred bucks at the community college and get your operators license. Now you're making good money.

Or maybe you're working a security job and the dude that comes in next shift always has these programming books with him. You ask about them and he says they are for something called the Google Cloud Platform Associate Cloud Engineer certification. You've always liked computers so you download Python and Google Chrome onto your laptop, log in to Cloud Shell and start going through exercises.

So now you have some good core skills and you're making money. Do you waste it on dates with vapid chicks or on some money pit sports car? No, you save it. You pass 1k in your checking, then 10k, then 50k.

Now you have choices.

wolfoftheworld · 2021-02-22T06:36:50+00:00

Understood. It is quite easy to be resentful. You have every right to. I have grown resentful of friends lately. They're selfish cunts who don't value friendship. I try to deal with it as best as I can. Don't let it consume you too much.

It sucks because even though we are more connected than ever, the more flakier we have become.

My social circle has also grown quite small. You'll find way too many people come and go. It is tragic, but such is the way of life.

SnooDrawings1981 · 2021-02-22T11:22:26+00:00

Lifelong ignored dude here - I burned my social circle to the ground - if you have the mentality for that (which I now do) it's a hilarious alternative. I went scorched Earth on all of my so-called friends, who used to ignore me - Guess what? About a year later now since, they incessantly message me, begging for my attention and asking if I changed my phone number. It's quite funny, I recommend it.

i_am_your_hemeroid · 2021-02-22T13:44:54+00:00

Being ignored is kinda awesome tho.

closer_1 · 2021-02-22T12:08:04+00:00

Your friend circle is like a boat. You float down the river and pick them up as you go along. Sometimes they get out, other times you kick them out. You need to kick these "friends" out of your boat and find some new ones. Being alone is better than being rejected by people you call your friends.

ClutchNes · 2021-02-22T08:18:34+00:00

since I've always been a shy introvert(but today less than in the past) it feels natural to me and I can't complain. but I feel you guys who are more social/extroverted, it must be really hard going mgtow when ignoring others and being ignored is a major part of the game.

53withtrollhair · 2021-02-22T09:21:16+00:00

My advice? Call them on the phone. I'll be honest, messaging sucks. Talking is more to the point, faster, and more efficient. If messaging was better, we would have stayed drawing pictures in the sand with sticks. I call people, and if they don't answer, I don't leave a message, they call back.

Thick-Current-1898 · 2021-02-22T12:19:31+00:00

Same thing happened to me. But now I ignore everyone and only ineract when someone asks me something.

I don't care about them anymore and enjoy being alone

Rdrums31 · 2021-02-22T12:35:31+00:00

If people are blatantly ignoring me, I cut them out of my life. Nobody disrespects me like that any more.

Of course I can see its slightly different if its your mum.

These days there's a large group of us who play Warzone every night, great way to keep in touch during Covid. Games can be a great outlet for this, if you hadn't looked into them.

SwordMasterLink79 · 2021-02-22T11:34:34+00:00

Sorry for the long reply. I feel it might help you.

Yeah, that sounds pretty much like my life a few years ago. I was raised pretty much as a soy boy, tried to be nice to everyone. Then I started to look at scientific social, psychological and communicative experiments and thought I could try them. I was very pleased with the results and now I almost religiously try to adhere to the lessons learned from these scientific studies I read about.

Nowadays I am not ignored any more for several reasons:

I just play 'tit-for-tat' with everyone: The amount of energy I put into each reaction to another person measures up pretty exactly to the amount of energy they put into their action in the first place.
Dominance: As Jordan Peterson points out in his book "12 Rules for Life" it has been proven that evolutionary the part of the brain that automatically determines your place on the stepladder of the dominance hierarchy is much more fundamentally hardwired into the brain than anyone might suspect. This means: Regardless of your kindness and truthfulness people will naturally cherish you or tread down on you based on where you stand in the dominance hierarchy in relation to them.
My happiness is not dependent on others. I started meditating regularly about ten years ago. I can deal with months of solitude. I am happy without validation from others. Oddly enough when I just do whatever I feel like doing, e.g. playing piano intensively for a few months just because I want to finally be able to play this or that song from my youth, or e.g. cooking delicious meals, or e.g. programming software I need for my home-automation - I then notice people joining in and having fun with me with those things as well.

To summarize: I do what I like and eventually have fun ('cause in the dry desert even a thorny cactus will appear to be nice and wet). Sometimes people join me. Sometimes people leave me, and then I just go on having fun on my own again.

Side note #1: a lot of social behavior is based on mirroring others. Mirroring is pretty much tit-for-tat.

Side note #2: Dominance isn't all that much about violence. But much more about ignoring bullshit, not caring about frivolous chatter and not allowing them to step over your boundaries. If they try stepping over your boundaries you don't need to use violence, just walk away. I once had a women shout at me, crying, going mad, just because I simply ignored her. Now in hindsight it's kinda funny.

Nota bene: scientific game theory proves tit-for-tat (TFT) is the best strategy to interact with others: https://lawrules.wordpress.com/2011/09/05/the-axelrod-tournaments/

someRedpilla · 2021-02-22T11:58:04+00:00

They are selfish and only want to communicate when they want to

spicyideas · 2021-02-22T12:26:28+00:00

I'm sorry that this happened to you fam. Try to work on yourself and add value to yourself and ppl will eventually catch on and look after/ for you.

At my lowest point in life I was stuck in a similar situation, as men we are not lovable. We have high value or we better earn it. Women and children are loved but not us men.

Stay strong fam

silly_birb · 2021-02-22T09:37:04+00:00

Those are not good people, they are opportunists even in their relationships.

It's easier to make friends during activities, like within an hobby group, because you share common interests where people look for eachother to achieve results.

tsundokume · 2021-02-22T15:25:26+00:00

I feel for you OP. Being slotted as that guy that gets ignored can hurt a lot. They just think you’re not cool enough to extract social value from. They can’t monkey branch to a higher social status from you, and they might possibly fall to a lower one. So they ignore you because they think they’re too good to be with you or associated with you.

I think the solution here is to become irresistible. Learn to have fun by yourself. Go on trips. Go be friends with people in classes (I imagine you’re young) when things open up. Dating apps are cancer but it’s a lot different when you’re not going in there looking for hookups or dates. Try to make friends there. Buy things for yourself. Work out. Eat healthy. Basically better yourself to a point that you can dunk on everyone when they see that they can’t look down on you anymore. Also, remember that guys ignore other guys more often than they ignore women so unless you guys were super tight, they just don’t wanna talk.

GroundbreakingAd7585 · 2021-02-22T16:18:20+00:00

I can't speak for everyone, but I know my Dad and myself almost never check our phones. I forget to take it with me most days. Same with a coworker/mentor of mine... if I need to talk to either my Dad or mentor I have to get my mom or my mentor's wife involved.

Blake_Abernathy · 2021-02-22T16:28:25+00:00

I’m going through the same thing with one of my friends. We used to be best friends, but now whenever I hit him up to hang he takes days to even read the text and is ALWAYS busy when he does. Which is strange, because he hangs out with other friends pretty often and doesn’t even have a job currently. Not only that; he’s NEVER even once hit me up to hang. I’ve come to realize over time that the best way to deal with this is to just live for yourself and no one else. There’s a lot of cool, meaningful shit you could be doing with your time instead of simping after pseudo-friends. Develop skills, start investing your money and make bank, study science, read literature/philosophy, etc.

buildrooms · 2021-02-22T17:51:36+00:00

Sounds like you need to replace your support system.

satankaputttmachen · 2021-02-22T21:04:46+00:00

Ignored by everyone? Living the dream!

Just need to abandon everyone who never was there for you in the first place.

RIchardjCranium · 2021-02-23T14:56:18+00:00

I hear ya man I feel that if I don’t try to keep in touch with people I would never hear from them at all. Almost like I’m bothering them with my presence. And when you do they go hey I haven’t heard from you a while and I’m like hey you know that the phone works both ways...

BlastRadius115 · 2021-02-22T05:59:19+00:00

What do you message them about?

Eric_Pearson · 2021-02-22T16:29:39+00:00

You're giving way too much importance to social media attention. You've got to understand that if you base your sense of peace and balance based on a factor that isn't in your control, you're bound to be continually disappointed. Just focus on what you have, such as your amazing mother and whatever few true friends you have and what is in your control, such as your abilities, hobbies, what you contribute by virtue of your work or career, and things that matter, such as your health.

I too am not into partying. I rarely see people but have a close group of people of a very few people with whom I speak to always, and whom I know will always remain. The core spirit of MGTOW is independence, physically, mentally and emotionally, and this is an ideal one can aim for by concerning oneself with working on factors that is within one's control, and having the tranquility to accept things that aren't.

Bottom line: Everybody's busy with their lives. Time to get busy with yours. Down the line, you'll realise you actually have a life, unlike the blue - pilled population.

warsame1111 · 2021-02-22T09:04:20+00:00

Maybe people just don’t like you ?

Title	Being ignored kinda sucks
Author	ChemicalEstate
Upvotes	54
Comments	47
Date	February 22, 2021 5:44 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/lpgbpd/being_ignored_kinda_sucks/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/being-ignored-kinda-sucks.747950 https://theredarchive.com/post/747950

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