Had an OnlyFans account and I finally got rid of it. I don't even know why I had it honestly end of the day it's just super depressing thinking that you have to pay to talk to random people I guess that's just how low I felt like that I needed to do that. I'm kind of venting/trauma dumping here but I've been socially awkward my whole life and have never had a long term relationship or sex. I've been on a handful of dates in the past year, some went well, others didn't. My struggle with dating made me feel like this was the only way I was going to be able to talk to attractive women because of the constant rejection I received. What I came to realize was that most of it isn't even the real person posting just someone they hire to put up content and when I finally realized that it just made me hate it. That and also the fact that buying attention isn't attention. That last part feels terrible honestly. I'm still trying to figure out how to live day to day in the absence of a relationship it's been very difficult on me. I feel like a failure and I think the only positive thing I could do was get off of it. There have to be lots of men who are struggling with similar issues and they are reaching out on this kind of toxic platform just to have an opportunity to talk to people who wouldn't give them time of day in daily life. I think for a guy who has been socially awkward and not considered especially attractive it's very hard these days to make something work. My mind craves things that are out of reach and it's so hard. Just sharing my thoughts here. Feel free to post advice or if you have had similar struggles and how you are doing we need to support each other here because these are tough times to be a man looking for love.