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Violence Against Women Act: Legal Sexism Against Men

AdSpecial7366

October 3, 2024

122 upvotes

/r/MensRights

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Title	Violence Against Women Act: Legal Sexism Against Men
Author	AdSpecial7366
Upvotes	122
Comments	22
Date	October 3, 2024 1:51 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1fv8915/violence_against_women_act_legal_sexism_against/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/violence-against-women-act-legal-sexism-against.1531960 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531960

Comments

[–]63daddy 41 points42 points43 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EvelynsLair 25 points26 points27 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ralphswanson 22 points23 points24 points 1 year ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]AdSpecial7366[S] 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]Punder_man 18 points19 points20 points 1 year ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]AdSpecial7366[S] 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (8 children) | Copy Link

This is what he has to say in his defense. Also, the 'future blog' still hasn't appeared on his website, so I'm curious about what bullshit he will publish there.

Now I’ll turn to one of the hottest points of debate: Are there a lot of men out there being abused by women? Is it true that it happens to men almost as much as it happens to women?

No.

There are a lot of men out there being abused by their male partners, and for that matter a lot of women being abused by their female partners; abuse in same-sex relationships is a very real thing, apparently present in a similar percentage of relationships to what we find in straight relationships. And there are plenty of women who are rotten to their male partners, but it’s not the same as the other examples. Here are some key distinctions:

* The risk that a man will be killed by a woman is very low, and that risk vanishes almost completely once the relationship splits up. In other words, men aren’t trapped in heterosexual relationships out of the danger that they’ll get killed if they leave – a danger that is very real for abused women.

* Very few men are forced by their female partners to have sexual contact that they find disgusting or violent, or that they simply do no want. (Actually, none that I’ve ever encountered.) This is hugely significant, because sexual mistreatment is reported by many abused women to be the single most psychologically harmful, leaving the longest-lasting negative effects, of any aspect of how they were treated in the relationship.

* We don’t often hear of men losing jobs because of constant harassment at work by their partners, an experience that happens to abused women a lot; or men whose finances are manipuated so that all the money and property ends up in the woman’s hands; or men who aren’t allowed to see or talk to anyone.

And on and on.

I’m not saying that what a mistreated man goes through isn’t bad. It can be awful. It can make his life miserable. I’m just saying it’s not the same thing, and it can’t be mixed together with women’s experiences. The power dynamics are just too different.

The manipulation of statistics to make it look like there are a lot of male victims of female violence is a long discussion in itself. I’ll mark it down for a future blog post; there’s too much to say about it to go into it here. I’ve spent a lot of time with that research, and I will say simply that in heterosexual relationships, serious domestic abuse is still almost entirely a male-on-female problem.

https://lundybancroft.com/mens-angry-messages-to-me-part-2/

[–]Punder_man 8 points9 points10 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Jesus Christ...

* The risk that a man will be killed by a woman is very low, and that risk vanishes almost completely once the relationship splits up. In other words, men aren’t trapped in heterosexual relationships out of the danger that they’ll get killed if they leave – a danger that is very real for abused women.

Maybe its under reported because Men know they won't be believed if they say "My partner is psychotic and is threatening to kill me if I leave her"

* Very few men are forced by their female partners to have sexual contact that they find disgusting or violent, or that they simply do no want. (Actually, none that I’ve ever encountered.) This is hugely significant, because sexual mistreatment is reported by many abused women to be the single most psychologically harmful, leaving the longest-lasting negative effects, of any aspect of how they were treated in the relationship.

"Actually, none that i've ever encountered."
So... just because he has never encountered this.. it does not happen at all..
Gotta love that confirmation bias there..

* We don’t often hear of men losing jobs because of constant harassment at work by their partners, an experience that happens to abused women a lot; or men whose finances are manipuated so that all the money and property ends up in the woman’s hands; or men who aren’t allowed to see or talk to anyone.

We don't hear it often because MEN ARE NOT BELIEVED if a man is being abused by a female partner people often assume that HE is the actual abuser or that HE must have done something to warrant the abuse..

But of course.. when the genders are reversed NO ONE ever says "I wonder what she did to deserve that"

This guy is nucking futs and clearly has massive cognitive dissonance which does now allow him to admit that women can be just as violent / abusive in relationships as men can..
Not only that but I assume that he also ignores the fact that women are more likely to use violence by proxy. Aka, getting other men to commit the violence for her.

This can be as simple as scratching herself and then going to some men while crying and saying that her partner was abusive to her incite the men to take action and punish her partner..

I'm sure he would chalk that down to "Male on Male violence" and not attribute it AT ALL to woman on male violence..

I was mildly annoyed earlier.. now i'm mad..
As someone who suffered abuse at the hands of women I feel disgusted that he tries to hand wave MY suffering aside by saying:

I’m not saying that what a mistreated man goes through isn’t bad. It can be awful. It can make his life miserable. I’m just saying it’s not the same thing, and it can’t be mixed together with women’s experiences. The power dynamics are just too different.

But that is exactly what he is saying here.. Men who are victims are not WORTHY of being called victims because he believes that men can not suffer in the same way that women suffer...
Imagine if I said:

"I'm not saying that women who feel suicidal isn't a problem, it absolutely is, and their feelings are valid. I'm just saying its not the same thing and it can't be mixed together with suicidal men's experiences. The gender dynamics are just too different"

If I were to say that I would (Rightfully) be called out as a apathetic monster..
This guy can honestly eat a bag of dicks!

[–]AdSpecial7366[S] 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

As someone who suffered abuse at the hands of women

I’m truly sorry that you had to go through such a difficult experience.

This guy is nucking futs and clearly has massive cognitive dissonance which does now allow him to admit that women can be just as violent / abusive in relationships as men can..
Not only that but I assume that he also ignores the fact that women are more likely to use violence by proxy. Aka, getting other men to commit the violence for her.

It’s his extreme cognitive dissonance and bias that led him to write that book, which I don’t understand why it’s popular in women’s social circles. It has resulted in many unnecessary divorces and family separations.

In his book, he identifies various types of abusive men:

1.) "The Terrorist" : A man who frequently reminds his partner that he could physically rip her to pieces or even kill her.

2.) "Mr. Sensitive": A man whose horrifying character traits include being "soft-spoken, gentle, and supportive" and who "openly shares his insecurities, his fears, and his emotional injuries".He says that these men, who often have their feelings easily hurt, are actually manipulating women with those hurt feelings.

3.) "The Victim": A man who claims to have been abused by a previous partner is actually guilty of abuse himself. Because being angry toward a previous partner or blaming her actions for the failed relationship makes it "likely that he was the abusive one".

We can all agree that the first example certainly qualifies as abusive behavior, but what about the others? He really seems unhinged.

Reading through the book, it's difficult to avoid the conclusion that he believes that all men are abusers. If "soft-spoken, gentle, and supportive" men are actually emotionally manipulative abusers, then what man isn't an abuser?

He devotes two paragraphs in his 400+ page tome to discussing the possibility of women abusing men. There, when considering whether physical aggression by women toward men constitutes abuse, he says, “It depends.” He subsequently dismisses the notion by saying men are rarely affected by a woman’s aggressiveness.

He dismisses the possibility of women abusing men and claims that statistics are manipulated, and we’re still waiting for him to explain the basis of his assertions.

[–]Punder_man 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you, I still deal with the mental scars of my abuse on a daily basis but it does feel good to let it out now and again,

The funny thing is.. he thinks that by calling men out who disagree with him or who have been victims of violence at the hands of women is going to magically change their minds and make them think:

"Yeah, you know what, as a man my life IS privileged and so I have to put women first because women clearly have it MUCH worse"

When you minimize the experiences of others you only generate animosity towards your own position.. and you drive away people who may be sympathetic towards your cause / position.

I accept that women are more likely to experience rape, I can even accept that Domestic Violence has a different impact on women than it does on men..
But the idea that men universally are simply not affected by violence committed by women or that the effects are "Not as bad" is just frankly.. disgusting...

I would bet that this man has NEVER faced violence at the hands of a woman and thus he assumes that it can't be "That Bad"
Not only that but rather than take men who have been victims at their words regarding the suffering they experience / continue to experience / often have to hide because they know that if they bring it up they will be slapped down and told that they are trying to take the spotlight away from women is disgusting and infuriating..

I'm sure that if he were to suffer greatly at the hands of a woman / multiple women and saw just how apathetic society is towards him when he comes forward to report his abuse he MIGHT see the light..
But then again I suspect that he's so drunk on the Kool-aid that he would probably say that he was actually the abuser and that the women were justified in what they did to him because he's a filthy disgusting man and needs to atone for the sins committed by men...

As I said before however, he is correct.. the statistics ARE manipulated but towards the narrative of "Men are the abusers, Women are the victims" but he'll never admit that..

[–]AdSpecial7366[S] 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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