OVERVIEW: Judge sets up and encourages to-be ex to legally blackmail me in my divorce. To-be ex does so. Gets huge settlement. As a result, I move out of my nice home town of 30 years in order to rent in a cheaper nearby town. Ex-wife buys new home in my (former) hometown with her "winnings".

Marriage is under 10 years. No children. And I was -- get this -- her fourth husband. ... Wife asked for the divorce. I had no affair. I had come down with MS.

IN MORE DETAIL ...

The judge told us that I would be paying for all legal costs (both hers and mine). Further, the judge told us that legal costs could easily be mid to high six figures. And those legal costs would be on top of whatever settlement I paid her.

The next day my to-be ex told me that unless I settled on her terms she would make the divorce as expensive as possible by running up legal costs. She was confident she could get all-in costs close to a million dollars (confirmed by my lawyer given our complexities). It was a case of pure blackmail.

I had no choice. I settled on her terms. It was the lower cost decision. The amount she demanded went well beyond what even the state divorce laws called for. Further, my settlement was paid for entirely with pre-marital assets (supposedly untouchable in a divorce) since my wife had already spent every cent I had earned while we were married (which perversely entitled her to a higher settlement for the life she was accustomed to).

The above is a TYPICAL approach in divorce court. In trying to be "fair" the wealthier to-be ex will often be made to pay most (even all) legal bills.

Also TYPICAL is the judge is looking for a way to incent the divorcing couple to settle out of court and not take up his time with a full blown divorce hearing in court. ... Well, the judge got his want. But it came at a life-changing catastrophic cost to me.