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Imnotmrabut
[–][deleted] 44 points45 points46 points 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
It's a pity that she doesn't give credit to MRAs. I'm a recovering feminist and think that it was the MRA discussions that made me see the truth, so to speak. At first I doubted because the arguments were so far from what I had bee told all my life. But then ... then I just couldn't find counter-arguments that made sense.
The truth have this effect on people.
[–]Imnotmrabut[S] 17 points18 points19 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
What was the one argument that tipped you over the edge?
[–][deleted] 34 points35 points36 points 9 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
The DV argument: "In relationships it's almost always men who are the perpetrators and women the victims. And that the violence is common. And that every man should be regarded as a potential perpetrator".
I always thought it was unfair an in many ways a false argument. Then I did some research after discussing the meme with MRAs and found out that it's known since the 70s (at least) that women are about as violent than men in relationships (or perhaps more so).
And still feminists kept claiming otherwise and poison the minds of young girls. It was as if they wanted to make girls hate boys and men.
Furthermore I found out that DV is not common. It's something dysfunctional men and women do, often when they are drunken or high on some other substance. And psychopaths.
Nothing fitted the feminist narrative.
And it was really hateful, like saying jews eat small kids and n**ers rape white women.
[–]afireinthesky 19 points20 points21 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
This actually means a lot. I'm a veteran, and when I was in I was legitimately told verbatim "you are a white male, you maybe not have raped anyone yet, but you will." And even to this day I always ask women if they're ok when we make any sort of physical romantic/sexual contact. Even if we're in the middle of sex I will stop and ask.
[–]Blutarg 14 points15 points16 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Damn, whoever told you that has issues.
[–]the_unseen_one 10 points11 points12 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Society as a whole must have issues then.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Similar: I had some doubts about consent in some specific circumstances and what's the right way to make sure a partner is 100% ok with things, so I asked a feminist friend (and ex actually) assuming she'd know the "correct way to assure consent".
She answered by giving me MacKinnon's Sexuality, Pornography, and Method: "Pleasure under Patriarchy" (1989) Ethics, Vol. 99, No. 2 pp. 314-346.
Until this day, even married for almost a decade, I can't get that paper or if my head. It fucked me up good. I can no longer trust that women like or wasn't sex, or that I'm able to not rape.
It has gems such as
Compare victims' reports of rape with women's reports of sex. They look a lot alike
And
the major distinction between intercourse (normal) and rape (abnormal) is that the normal happens so often that one cannot get anyone to see anything wrong with it.
Male sexuality is apparently activated by violence against women and expresses itself in violence against women to a significant extent.
Basically saying that all seed is rape and it's impossible for women to ever consent to sex.
[–]Imnotmrabut[S] 14 points15 points16 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Blutarg 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well, it's possible she learned the truth about feminism from MRAs. I mean, who would have ever heard of Big Red (for example) if not for the men's rights movement?
[–]lukmeg 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think she is not taking away from MRM, just saying that feminism is crazy on its own.
[–]Imnotmrabut[S] 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Vidar34 11 points12 points13 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
A few seconds after this quote she mentions that "feminism" was part of her identity. That is how you identify religions and ideologies: they make themselves part of their followers identities. Do not ever make a set of ideas part of your identity, because it will make it much more difficult to admit that you are wrong about those ideas.
[–]Imnotmrabut[S] 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
The Cult Of Feminism?
[–]Vidar34 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Feminism is mostly a set of ideologies, but sometimes it certainly can seem like a cult.
Feminists are encouraged to self-segregate by removing "problematic" people from their lives. They "hugbox" each other in every internet space they occupy. And they have "zero tolerance" for critical inquiry.
It's a cult.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
A friendly question: can you have many ideologies. After all, an ideology is supposed to be comprehensive, something that explains how the world works.
[–]Vidar34 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you mean "can you, personally, follow multiple ideologies", then yes, I think you can, as long as you can rationalize away the parts where the ideologies conflict. If you mean "how can feminism be a set of ideologies", then you should realize that feminism isn't one monolithic thing. It's divided into many subsets (second wave, third wave, sex-positive, sex-negative, etc.).
[–]the_unseen_one 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You and me both, Cassie. Learning about feminism was what pushed me away from the movement despite a lifetime of practically worshipping it. I didn't even know about MRA until years after I'd renounced the feminist religion.
If more feminists took a hard, honest look at their movement (instead of getting pissed at anyone who pointed out how shitty the movement is) then there would be far fewer feminists I think.
[–]Blutarg 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same here.
[–]Draggonzz 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Kind of reminds me of many ex-religionists, who say it was really reading the bible that made them leave Christianity.
[–]Imnotmrabut[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That and the sex!
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Isn't that pretty much any ex-feminist? Same goes for me, technically, though I was 13 when you could've called me a "feminist". But tbh just like every other kid at that age I didn't give a shit about issues and still had some cootie vibes going.
[–]Neko404 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have to agree. The hypocrisy and the general toxicity of feminists is what drove me away. Yeah I know, not all feminists are like that, but enough of them are.
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[–][deleted] 44 points45 points46 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]Imnotmrabut[S] 17 points18 points19 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 34 points35 points36 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]afireinthesky 19 points20 points21 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Blutarg 14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]the_unseen_one 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Imnotmrabut[S] 14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Blutarg 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lukmeg 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Imnotmrabut[S] 5 points6 points7 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Vidar34 11 points12 points13 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Imnotmrabut[S] 7 points8 points9 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Vidar34 7 points8 points9 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Vidar34 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]the_unseen_one 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Blutarg 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Draggonzz 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Imnotmrabut[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Neko404 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link