Ok - we who still watch the garbage that is reality tv might be aware of the “Scandoval” of Bravo fame currently unfolding on screens worldwide. It’s been a feature of recent news in this genre. Media influences get cited here a lot so maybe this one is worth looking at.

For those who aren’t VPR or Bravo fans, it involves a 40 year old man (Tom Sandoval) cheating on his partner of 9 years (Ariana) with her best friend (Raquel) in a sneaky long term way. Many see it as a double betrayal for Ariana who bought a house with Tom, didn’t want marriage or children but at age 38 froze future baby eggs solely because he said he wanted that, trusted and supported him, trusted and supported her bestie Raquel too. Tom says his infidelity was brought on by a mid-life crisis, Ariana sometimes talking down to him & not providing enough sex.

I hear and see the men here who feel they’ve been rejected by & dismissed by women entirely. I have empathy for their plight. The hurt we can do to each other is real. This however is a current example of how badly LTR commitment can turn out for women. Men cheat on women who’ve been good faithful partners. And yes, I know women do the same. I think any reasonable woman would want to avoid this betrayal at all cost. It had to hurt Ariana in the worst possible way. She tells Tom that she regrets ever loving him after she discovers video evidence of the affair on his phone. She tells Raquel to fuck right off.

It’s also an example of how women can brutally betray other women for male attention/validation & identity. Raquel is younger & since the scandal came to light has put out that she’s checked herself into a mental health facility but has thus far shown no real remorse. Ariana is thriving, getting endorsement deals & Tom is seen as a messy, manipulative, immature douchebag. Crisis PR teams are in place for all involved.

Can we talk Scandoval as a cautionary tale for both genders?