Back to Basics September: 'Discussion: "Wife Privileges"'

Mommy_Koala · 2023-09-18T16:55:49+00:00

I’m celebrating my 15 year wedding anniversary this month.

My husband and I moved in together within the first year of dating. We joined finances maybe a year later. By this point we had discussed marriage in the distant future. My husband left his well paying job to start his own business, and I took a promotion with a better salary and a 90 minute commute to help out.

One of the things I found attractive about my husband was how ambitious and responsible he was. He had goals and a plan and knew exactly how he was getting there. My whole life i’d grown up around men who acted like life was just happening to them. My husband was the first man i’d ever met who was actively making things happen for him.

I had goals too, probably not very high reaching for most people. I wanted a family of my own, a stable home life, and to be a SAHM someday. And I wanted to do all this with him.

So I gave the milk away every day. I cooked, I cleaned and I wifed him up for 5 years before we got married. I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t have done for him. It’s just how I am, i’m a natural caretaker. I liked playing house. I liked cooking and cleaning and making sure he had clean underwear. It wasn’t something I ever worried about or second guessed. I never felt used, we had goals and a plan. I knew I was in them and I trusted him to get us there.

Moo. I have zero regrets. AMA

MsSmiley1230 · 2023-09-18T18:42:45+00:00

I moved in quickly and then got engaged very quickly as well. I definitely acted the same but before the engagement I did not allow myself to be as attached. I still did all the wife things but I kept my full emotional commitment back. Once we were engaged, he was basically my husband in my eyes. It didn’t take long for us to be married after the engagement since neither of us wanted a big wedding.

aussiedollface2 · 2023-09-19T03:12:45+00:00

I’m married for six years!

Such an interesting dilemma, because you obviously need to put your best foot forward and give him a taste of what married life with you is like, but not too much so that he gets comfortable and can’t be bothered proposing, which seems an all too common occurrence these days.

After dating for a year I agreed to move in with him at his request, but I made it clear it would be with the view to trialling marriage and by the end of that year we should both know what we wanted (he proposed in October!). So I personally think that’s an important distinction to make, don’t just cohabit with a man because it’s more “convenient” or “cheaper” or whatever, it creates too much comfort and a false sense of commitment imo, and there needs to be an expectation. Before anyone comes at me about rental prices etc etc, I always found female housemates prior to living with hubby and it kept my costs down. Living apart is always great because he can enjoy your nice space and amazing cooking, then have to go back to his own comparatively crappy (I’m generalising but LOL) place and wish that you two had a space together.

I would never, and I repeat NEVER purchase a house with a man you are not married to. I do not understand this trend. Same for pets. There is no need for this and once again creates a sense of “togetherness” that is lovely but once again, there’s a lot of jokes about men buying women pet puppies to shut them up about rings or babies and those jokes are there for a reason.

I kept more personal boundaries prior to being married which I think is important. We didn’t share a bank account. I contributed to our bills and lifestyle much more than I do now to maintain independence. You’re not married until you’re married, and don’t forget that.

I also made it clear that I didn’t believe in long engagements and once engaged the wedding date would need to be set.

Without going into too much detail, sexually there were some things I held back until we were engaged. That’s different for everybody and people need to make their own decisions about that.

Now as a wife, I do a lot more things like making his medical appointments, organising his dry cleaning, things like that and he responds in kind. When you are married you are a unit and function as such. I would advise against changing your career or making major life deviations for a man who has not proposed to you.

That’s just my 2c.

xo

Title	Back to Basics September: 'Discussion: "Wife Privileges"'
Author	FastLifePineapple
Upvotes	18
Comments	8
Date	September 18, 2023 1:21 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/16lvf09/back_to_basics_september_discussion_wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/back-to-basics-september-discussion-wife.1232219 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232219

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