While mid-life crises also exist for women, there are differences, most importantly, in my opinion, that there is almost nothing in terms of networking available to men who suddenly get struck with a strange state of mid nothing has prepared them for and with which nothing will help them. I am writing this in order to help women in LTRs with men going through this phenomenonen.

What seems to happen is that the inner person dies. All the previous dreams and ambitions become meaningless. For me, it seemed to be exactly like a bereavement, except there was no physical body to dispose of. If the man has been a great achiever in the object world, he will regret not having spent more time on himself. If he has spent his time living well, he will regret not having invested in getting on in life.

You may find yourself living with a changed man, a man with no drive, no will to do anything. You will probably be at a loss as to what you can do about the situation.

The answer is probably just space and support. The period will come to an end, but in its own time. It can be a very disorientating period for everyone affected, but, speaking for myself, I have found a great deal more happiness coming out of it than I had before it started.

It might help to get one of the books available on the subject and being aware that it is a very common life event which does not last forever is probably also a good thing. I strongly suspect that men who do not go through it will always lack a depth of being that it leads. The death of the ideals of the first half of life is needed to lead on to a fully developed second half.