What is the SMP

SMP stands for sexual market place, it's the arena within which SMV is relevant and utilized. Let's delve in to this fundamental RP concept which is the premise for many subsequent discussions.

This concept has three words which convey two individual concepts (as marketplace is a compound word), the combination of these three concepts is what the SMP is all about.

Sexual - this marketplace trades in sex, sexuality and all that's associated with it (example - sensuality, flirting, lust etc). Being that the fact that women are the gatekeepers of sex is a prerequisite for what follows, that men are the gatekeepers of commitment. In other words, sex can survive without commitment but commitment cannot survive without sex. Therefore, in this context, SMP is not limited to sexuality alone if you're in or are seeking a long term relationship. Therefore, in this context, SMP includes the market for long term relationships within it, as the two are inextricable.

Marketplace - sex and relationships are a marketplace where we each trade what we have for what we need to the mutual satisfaction of all. (More on this concept below.)

Fair play

Markets that are built upon fair play are the markets that flourish and succeed the most. The more fair they are to more elements within the market, the more successful they are and the wealthier everyone is. This is a win-win for everyone involved. When things are sold at a fair price, the producers earn their salaries, the CEO's earn their profits, the stores earn their cut and you walk away with the product that you wanted. When the game becomes unfair to one (or more) player in the game, everyone loses. This is why excessive taxes and regulation drives business away, because those are often unfair to manufacturers and/or employers. There are many specific examples of this, but getting into them would be off topic as this discussion is about sexonomics, not economics.

Fair play within a marriage is when both partners are fully invested in keeping their spouse happy, like a business that's invested in creating a good customer experience in order to get repeat customers. Once you're committed to each other, you've essentially closed the market to competition from others (this is true even if you engage in non-monogamy). However, the principles of the marketplace still apply and if you aren't playing fair, there will be a market correction on its way.

It's been established in previous posts (linked above) that between sex and commitment, women hold the keys to sex and men hold the keys to commitment. This is a necessary generalization that establishes the hierarchy of needs for men and women. Men need sex more than they need guaranteed companionship (commitment), women need guaranteed companionship more than they need sex. By "more" I mean more in quantity and quality for both sexes.

This isn't to say that women don't need or want sex nor is it to say that men don't need or want guaranteed companionship. It just means that between the two, sex is a greater need for men and guaranteed companionship is a greater need for women. Therefore, in the SMP, women provide men with sex (to the satisfaction of men) in exchange for the guarantee of lifelong commitment (and all that comes along with that, such as provision and protection etc). Of course this sounds very cold, calculated and extremely unromantic. However, that doesn't change the fact that this is at the foundation of every relationship. That it is indeed an exchange to fulfill each others needs in exchange for our own needs being fulfilled. Just like the foundation that is under your home, you want it to be strong, sturdy and to never be seen! However, if you shake the foundation, the whole house will crumble. If you shake the foundation of your marriage, your marriage stands the risk of crumbling as well. This occurs when one or both parties are not playing fair. This is when a painful market correction will transpire.

Market forces and corrections

Just like in the financial markets, if you don't pay the workers enough, they'll strike and you won't have anyone to do the job for you. If you punish business owners for being successful, prices will rise and/or they'll take their business elsewhere. If you charge too much, no one will buy and you'll go out of business. If you don't want to play fair, eventually, the market will force you to play fair. It's always painful when this happens.

So too in a marriage, if you don't play fair, the bond you have will weaken and punish you for it. If you're wise, you'll take stock of yourself and correct your "business practices". If you're unwise, you'll blame your partner as you head for divorce.

Here are some examples of how spouses punish each other for not playing fair. Please note, that this is often not done consciously and certainly not maliciously although those are possibilities. It's usually best to assume good intentions unless proven otherwise

  • Her interest in sex wanes. Whether in frequency or quality.
  • He tunes her out when she speaks to him.
  • She becomes irritable and critical.
  • He becomes withdrawn.
  • She takes him for granted.
  • He stops doing anything for her.
  • She shows less/no appreciation.
  • He shows less/no love and affection.

The list can go on and on, but I think the point is understood. In these small and big ways, we punish each other when our needs aren't being met. When we feel like we're giving a lot more than we are receiving. Notice how many of these examples come back to the woman being the gatekeeper of sex and the man being the gatekeeper of commitment, that's why women pull away from sex and men pull away from commitment. While this pulling away isn't absolute (she isn't denying sex, always forever, she's just having less of it in quantity and quality. Likewise, he isn't pulling out of his commitment entirely, he's just less available to her when she needs him), it's still significant and shakes the foundations of the relationship.

While this is true within the individual relationship, it's also true on a societal level. The ever increasing numbers of women complaining - where are all the good men? is because they overpriced themselves to the point where men aren't interested in buying what they have to sell. Likewise, the growing numbers of men going MGTOW is due to the fact that marriage itself is an increasingly dangerous proposition for men today. See this post for more on this matter

Conclusion

At the foundation of every relationship is a buyer/seller contract. Women are the sellers with regards to sex, men are the sellers with regards to commitment. When we play fair, everyone is happy. When we don't, painful market corrections are bound to come. Wise people will be wise.

Cheers!