I remember when I met my boyfriend, it was after I realized I was sick of my growing number and instead of asking myself why no man loved me, I asked myself “what would make a great partner?”. I fell into the wrong man and I feel scrambled and broken since asking him to leave.

I’ve seen posts on here about men not caring about women’s accomplishments, but I think my accomplishments have caused me to become someone who is a better partner. I am excited about my future, I am better at managing money, and I drink less. Also, after being in a relationship when I was younger where I cheated, my moral compass has grown rigid and I am painfully loyal. I was very loyal to this man, even though he didn’t deserve it. Watching my brother, who is just five years older than me live an amazing life with his wife has caused me to strive for better. They both are busy and work a lot but my niece is beautiful and they get to travel together and they seem so happy. My partner had no drive, he wanted respect, but it’s difficult to show respect to a man that plays video games all day and fails his classes when his school is being paid for.

I’ve always felt like I had all of the ingredients of an amazing person and partner, but I was like a baked cake and the baker didn’t follow the directions in the right order. I want to readopt that mindset of “be someone who you think would be a good partner” because ultimately, it made me love myself. I acted as my own friend and was proud of myself, and I didn’t feel the need to have sex with people in exchange for the feeling of self worth (when it doesn’t do that at all).

Pros: I’m almost done with my bachelors degree, I work hard in school, I am funny, sweet, thoughtful, optimistic, l love to do romantic things, am a decent cook, like cleaning, like eating healthy, and I am a good friend, and a cellist (I’m pretty sure people think that’s sexy)

Cons: bad at taking criticisms, overweight, kind of judge mental, little experience being in healthy relationships, used to being dominant in things.

I guess I’m wondering how to get back on this track of becoming a good woman, or if any of you lovely ladies have advice for someone like me.