Gf constantly complains about alpha behavior, how do I stop this?

ireallyamnothere · 2013-12-16T17:55:08+00:00

Let's put this in perspective. Say you have a good bro that you've been friends with for years. Suddenly his behavior changes. You notice lately that he only calls when he needs to borrow your truck, your tools, or when it is your turn to pay for the beers. You let it slide at first because he's always been a good bro, but after a while, you notice the pattern that he only contacts you when he wants something.

How would you feel about that friend's behavior?

You are massively overplaying your hand in this relationship. Right now you are taking the transactional concept of the relationship way too far. Based on your description it sounds like you have shifted from expecting reciprocation and gone to straight up extraction. By your own description you have become a taker.

Nobody likes a taker.

Soften it up a little bit. She feels unappreciated because your actions tell her you don't appreciate her except for food and sex. You do have to give her something to work with or else you are going to frustrate her, piss her off, and push her away. She will actually have a legit reason for being pissed. It won't be her hamster that is running the show at that point, it will be her sense of self-respect kicking in because right now you are acting like a dick. Behavior like this opens the door to some nice alpha guy "who just get's her", a strong guy who is willing to give her a bit of sugar is going to start giving her the tingles.

The 2/3s rule applies here. If she does two things for you, you damn well better at least one thing for her that she appreciates.

semiredpill · 2013-12-17T18:47:58+00:00

This isn't alpha behavior, it's asshole behavior. It's great to display high value and let her know you could get other girls by just being a high-value man. But saying this, and/or treating her like a fuck buddy, isn't alpha, it's just being rude and selfish.

What exactly is she getting out of this relationship? A successful red pill relationship is not one where the woman is just being used for sex and food. That's pretty much just as bad as those blue pill relationships where the man never gets his way, and is just constantly buying stuff for his ungrateful wife. The point is that the female and male "gender roles" can work together in harmony so that BOTH people can be happy giving and taking what comes naturally to them. There is some variation on this, but I fail to see what your girlfriend is actually getting from this relationship.

If you were her, why would you be with you?

Reddit_SLC · 2013-12-15T01:48:13+00:00

Honestly, you're not doing it right.

You can be a little more red pill without ruining your relationship. It sounds like you are pretty much ruining it. Take it down a level.

[deleted] · 2013-12-14T16:02:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

[deleted] · 2013-12-14T12:14:50+00:00

There nothing beta about rewarding her good behaviour. It's good common sense relationship game.

DrRectangle · 2013-12-14T22:24:18+00:00

Brother, honest advice, don't do what people say to do, do what comes naturally or righteously from within. If she doesn't like the way you are, fuck it then, you're not there to become what she desires, but at the same time if you want to do things rejected by the redpill, fuck them. Societical media want men to change for their women, fuck that, you have to love what you do and be free. At the same time redpill thinks they know what happiness is, its subjective, its not always the same. I think that a lot of the red pillers are phonies just following a crowd. Fuck everyone and fuck me too, just be as you please mate. All you need is to be true and charming from the beginning, not changing halfway through, but still just do as you please, everything will be better.

kzwrp · 2013-12-16T19:54:54+00:00

All the other posters here in this thread, with the sole exception of /u/aaron_the_just, have been giving you the dreaded Feel Good Bullshit.

Firstly, spin more plates. Why limit yourself to one monogamous relationship when there's so many high quality women around, looking for you?

Related to this: Work out, lift more, improve your career. You'll thank yourself for this later.

Also- work on controlling your frame and pulling her into it. She wouldn't shittest you as much with statements like "You always want something in return." Relationships don't work until both bring something to the table. Having a partner who wants stuff but doesn't feel the need to reprocitate is not helpful. What you'd usually hear from Red Pillers is "Next her". Here, maybe a Soft Next for a week or so might be the better solution whenever she comes up with shit like this. You may reward her once she stops that behavior, but be careful not to do it too much. 2/3 rule applies.

Title	Gf constantly complains about alpha behavior, how do I stop this?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	20
Date	December 14, 2013 11:09 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1sv02y/gf_constantly_complains_about_alpha_behavior_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/gf-constantly-complains-about-alpha-behavior-how.138593 https://theredarchive.com/post/138593

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