i've been thinking more maturely these days about a woman, a little older.. my age. Young girls are full of bullshit I don't want to deal with. I recently asked a girl out, first date seemed to go rather well but there was some kind of wall or resistance up that seem to stop any kind of organic flow of conversation. When it came to the second date she bailed and said she was wanting to see where this thing would go with someone else, that as a consolation prize I could be here friend and go dancing with her as though i was flaming homosexual.

I replied with yeah I'm sure i'll see ya around. The arrogance in an older girl that I would want that consolation prize, that somehow we couldn't still get to know each other. I had little chance to show her the kind of guy I am. It's made me completely angry, where I really am tired of second guessing my intuition.

I follow the damn ideas of trp, but still, it seems I'm just not the kind of guy girls pine after or want, consider seriously. I'm not financially in a great position, because of my profession in the arts I likely will never be. I don't know what my question for anyone here is, but I feel I like should finally give up looking for a long time partner.. maybe my life is going to be the fucking type. How does one ever be serious bf or husband material if you don't make much money and never probably will. I've tried countless times over the years and i've never had a long term. I've been cool and collected, apathetic, interested, not interested, dangerous, sex god method, on and on. I'm a good looking guy, i'm talented, but still I hear about another guy they're more serious about. I get shit constantly about being a player and all Im trying to do is find a girl. In fact my reputation has become 'player', a guy who dates loads of girls. And that only seems to hurt me more as all I'm looking for is one girl.