Need help. New LTR is probably cheating.

fnordsnord · 2015-11-04T19:06:04+00:00

You don't get to call it "cheating" if you didn't have a commitment. If you were having casual sex and headed toward but not AT a committed relationship, she's entitled to have been confused, no matter what actual words were said. And even if she lied to your face about whether she was banging someone else during such an "uncertain" period just makes her a sexually active woman. The social pressure on women not to be sluts is ENORMOUS. They will lie to their DOCTORS about the number of sex partners they have. Expecting them to tell YOU the truth is setting the bar too high.

But none of that matters: this bothers YOU. YOU need to decide if you can get over it and trust her in the future. If you can't get over it, you will both grow resentful, and this LTR is a waste of BOTH your time.

Me - I'd let it slide and work toward clearer communication of expectations in the future. But a lot of guys don't see it that way.

ckp2906 · 2015-11-04T18:41:23+00:00

Clearly this bothers you. So, why the Hell are you even dealing with it. You def don't have abundance mentality. Cause if you did...you would realize that there are more fish in the sea and that a chick is not worth worrying about her cheating on you.

Drop the bitch and get one that doesn't give you headaches like this, bro.

kabylewolf · 2015-11-04T18:45:42+00:00

It bothers you, you don't need to think about any further. She lied to you in the infancy of your relationship (even if it wasn't an LTR yet).

Plenty of other options out there.

FrameWalker · 2015-11-04T19:47:44+00:00

Sounds like you're not ready for an LTR. Realize that it's you that's the problem and not her. She crossed an imaginary boundary that you didn't make clear. If you feel resentful towards her you won't be able to get over it.

I spin plates. Whenever one is a real pain and I feel resentment building I go fuck as many others as I can. Really hard to get upset when you have lots of other options and excitement

[deleted] · 2015-11-04T19:55:11+00:00

I think the options available to you are:

Apply dread game.

Plate her.

Drop her entirely.

But DON'T reward her behavior with your commitment/resources/validation.

Title	Need help. New LTR is probably cheating.
Author	ckp2906
Upvotes	0
Comments	12
Date	November 4, 2015 6:31 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3riv01/need_help_new_ltr_is_probably_cheating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/need-help-new-ltr-is-probably-cheating.156100 https://theredarchive.com/post/156100

Comments