How does TRP handle the check?

abdada · 2016-02-22T01:26:14+00:00

My first dates always happen within 15 minutes of meeting her in public, standard day game insta-date approach. Coffee date. I always pay. $2 tops.

Second date is always at my place, cooking a meal, playing in the park, whatever. Cost is zero other than whatever food we're cooking that I already have in my fridge.

I have no reason to take a gal to dinner, ever. Why would I want to show off another dude's cooking skills? Senseless.

One of my red flag items is if she's a foodie. I won't go near foodies.

horsefootball · 2016-02-22T01:42:38+00:00

I always semi-jokingly make her pay. Sometimes they just do it without thinking. Sometimes they get caught off guard and pay anyway. It's important for me to see how she handles it.

Her action and reaction to you explain more than any societal-based conversation you could have with her (feminism).

ntnclvr · 2016-02-22T05:26:03+00:00

I traditionally always pay on the first date, especially if I do the asking. I make good money, so even if the date did not go well, I will usually pay anyway. And when it does go well, traditionally I pay on subsequent dates. I am not doing this going forward. Waste of cash. They all get the first one on me if it is a night time date.

If you are on a budget, go Dutch!

Edit: spelling and truncatiion.

Metalaggeddon · 2016-02-22T13:17:40+00:00

I don't normally pay on a first date. Then again I detest meal dates. "I'm more of a go do something active kinda guy"

Usually this is not an issue, if a server asks I'll smirk and say something referring to how independent she is. If she asks I'll say "I'm not sure about you yet."

Occasionally if she's really added a lot of uncommon, unique fun to the night, i'll grab the meal if she trades a few drinks afterwards. (usually less expensive, I'm not into lush girls and I sip Johnny most of the time).

I don't know man, what works for you works. I would never intentionally pay for a bad experience, after all, my time is expensive. Would I pay to smell shit?

No?

Then why would I pay to shovel it?

BeyondDedication · 2016-02-22T16:36:45+00:00

Are you pursuing a high quality girl for an LTR? Are you alpha enough in your appearance and demeanor? Pay. Not a popular opinion here, but I regularly LTR girls y'all would consider unicorns.

Everything else. Split.

_Insidious_ · 2016-02-22T17:05:03+00:00

Easy. Getting coffee, order for yourself. Let her pay for her own, no discussion required.

Second date, "we're splitting the bill". Problem solved, don't ask. Tell her, if she refuses.. NEXT

[deleted] · 2016-02-22T17:10:35+00:00

This becomes a lot less of a concern if you aren't doing dinner dates or other expensive things for the first date. Even a drink or two each can add up though if you are pursuing multiple women.

Lately, I've been limiting the dates I go on to women who are extremely attractive and who agree to the date easily. I also go to a place with $4-$5 drinks and we only get one or two drinks each.

During the date, you need to be evaluating how things are going. I used to treat every date like a challenge, and try to bring the girl home no matter what. This was basically my validation phase. Nowadays, I think long and hard about whether I really want to even get a second drink or not.

I also usually arrive at my watering hole of choice a few minutes before they do. I'm punctual and girls are not. Some guys like to always be the late one, in order to keep them waiting, and to show that your time is valuable or whatever. I like to get their first and already have a paid for drink when she shows up. I love it when the girl is 10 minutes late or so and complains about me already having a drink. I just use it as a chance to jab at them for being late. I love the dynamic this established from the get go. Puts them on their heels IMO. Sitting there with no drink would look pathetic.

Once I have my own prepaid drink, I'm in the clear to leave whenever I want without having to even look at the check. Then I just see how the date's going. The number one red flag I look for is the "What are you looking for?" or "I'm not into ONS or hooking up" or "I've tried the hook up thing, I didn't like it." Once a girl is already ruling out the possibility of hooking up that night, I know that she is not interested in me enough to waste my time. Worse yet, if she indicates a guy has pumped and dumped her and she is in "recovery" or "alpha widow" mode, I know it's not worth the effort. If these flags appear, or she seems like an ultra slut, or is uglier than her pictures, I'm usually gone after my one beer.

If things are going well though, we are building chemistry, talking sexual things, and it's feeling like she in genuinely attracted to me and I'm genuinely attracted to her, then I have no problem paying for her two drinks and one more of my own. Often times after two drinks each, the best move is to switch venues to another watering hole near this one. 9 times out of 10, the girl will pay for our two drinks at the second place.

TL;DR - Only get drinks. Arrive early and pay for your first drink. Leave if it's not looking worthwhile. Pay if it's looking promising. Most dates cost me $5, the good ones cost me $20. I can live with this.

unique_leek_critique · 2016-02-23T03:55:56+00:00

I pick a cheap date for the first one (beers or coffee). I'll pay for that, then the second date do something active like a walk on the beach or taking dogs to the park. So there's no cost there. By the third/fourth date we know each other well to stay in and cook/netflix and chill.

If you're on a budget no shame in going dutch.

itsawomensworld · 2016-02-22T01:46:21+00:00

If she made a big effort to get to my location then ill typically pay Date 1. If i made a big effort its a split. If its neutral then I alternate between paying not paying. Sometimes its a couple of drinks (one drink each) and even if you're out with a dude someone usually picks up the tab. But yeah if its a lot of drinks then yeah 50/50.

And my record for paying vs not paying for first dates is about the same. Honestly the girl doesn't give a shit if u pay. Just don't look like an ass in how u handle it. It can be awkward so thats the more impt of the split.

Title	How does TRP handle the check?
Author	disposable_me_0001
Upvotes	9
Comments	14
Date	February 22, 2016 1:17 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/46yecg/how_does_trp_handle_the_check/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-does-trp-handle-the-check.161082 https://theredarchive.com/post/161082

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