I read a lot about this on this thread. Here’s my perspective as a 32yo who consistently closes on dates.

Set the tone appropriately - night vibes with intimate seating where you can hear each other is the priority. I suggest normal face to face seating for your first spot. Have plans to migrate to side by side bench type of seats.

  1. Throw out the frameworks. Don’t go in thinking you’re going to say some exact line of compliments/jokes, making silly faces, sitting a certain way, progressively touching. You don’t need to do that shit. I see a lot of “why isn’t this working” and I think these things set you up for failure and likely disrupt any real confidence in yourself.

  2. You need to have a good date more than anything. If you build the attraction naturally, without sexual innuendo or touching her, then you will close. You bringing a quality version of yourself with things to talk about and actual interest in her is what you need to focus on.

  3. Don’t force physical contact. Let it get there naturally. If you’ve had a good date 1-3 hours in this will just happen. Whether it’s through dumb hand jokes, walking/holding hands, or things like legs touching when you’re sitting side by side (which is super easy to escalate to making out in the bar).

  4. Where you should probably make a move is by the end - It’s not a loss if you hadn’t physically escalated during the date. If you had a good date and built attraction, take it home. If you’re both ubering it’ll escalate the moment you’re in the car. If you’re driving separate - get the kiss in before you both head back. This helps avoid awkwardness once you’re back, and even if it doesn’t happen she’ll likely have built crazy anticipation for once you’re back at whoever’s spot.

So yea - it’s literally just the basics. Be a cool person with shit to talk about, allow her to be the same, let natural interest and banter guide you home.