Horrible self-esteem affecting how I interact with woman I like. Am I just not good enough for the girl I want?

oaktownraider13 · 2016-03-10T02:02:18+00:00

Seek professional help and forget about women for now. Seriously.

Suicidal thoughts and depression are no joke, and overcoming your own bad self-image should be your priority. Talking to someone who can help you confront and conquer your own demons is probably a good start.

Start with a trusted friend, if nothing else.

the_eran_trio · 2016-03-10T05:46:40+00:00

My dad told me this story the other day. Imagine a woman sitting in a bar, waiting for a blind date. After thirty minutes she starts to get worried, and after an hour it's clear he's not showing up. So she calls her friend to commiserate. Instead however this friend tells her, "No wonder he didn't show up with those tubs of lard you call thighs."

That's something you would never say to a friend, even if it was true. But you see the woman wasn't talking to her friend, that's what she was saying to herself. Most people would be shocked to hear something like that from anyone, let alone someone you consider a friend, so why do we talk like that to ourselves? Once he said that I realized how I was beating my own self up, and I sounded like an asshole. So instead, every time I caught myself saying, "God that was so awkward, why can't I handle social situations?!?" or something else negative, I instead said something positive. "Hey when I made that joke I could tell John thought that was really funny" or once I got better, "I'm an adept conversationalist, and an interesting person to be around." I realized that once I stopped focusing on the negative, I began to notice things weren't quite as blue as I had thought they were.

TheXXL · 2016-03-10T09:22:57+00:00

horrible low self-esteem , I am depressed, thinking about suicide daily. , _I think I am horribly ugly

This is the root cause for...

it seems that all the girls that I am attracted to, seem to reject me or not be interested.

... this.

It pains me to see a hot girl and thinking I am not good-enough for her to the point where I want to commit suicide.

This here...

I blame it all on my looks. If I was better looking then non of this would happen. I feel hopeless in a sense that I feel like I can't do anything about my "fate".

... and this here...

I don't believe that I will ever find a girl that I am attracted to and happy with because I am just not good-enough.

... and of course this here ... leads me to the following advice: Get professional help! seriously! I know you will not want to hear that, but you are seriously sick, it's a mental sickness that is treated by a mix of medication and counseling. Don't just treat it lightly, i know what i am talking about. Been at a similar point in my life many years ago, and have seen closeup other people falling into even worse mental states, for instance: manic depression followed by psychosis followed by 3 months of sitting in a mental hospital for medication and treatment.

If you don't feel like you can find a doc, you should speak to someone about it that you trust, and tell him/her to help you with getting professional help. No reddit forum or other internet stranger, no "nofap", no meditation, no mindset voodoo crap, no youtube video etc. can help you with this.

guerrillaaction · 2016-03-10T04:43:23+00:00

bro, right now might not be the right time to be pursuing women. you need to work on yourself for a while. do something that empowers you. seek some help, and accomplish something that does not require the acceptance and the validation of others.

Vanqhuix · 2016-03-10T21:41:33+00:00

I feel you man. I've some serious insecurities, mostly because of my looks and poor social looks. Honestly, I don't even know if I'm ugly, I have had some gorgeous women approach me, but I've managed to fuck up with my terrible social skills and lack of experience.

I'm constantly trying to improve myself; I exercise every day and study a lot, but that doesn't really somehow make me happier, even though I love working out and enjoy learning. I just can't find out the balance between self-improvement and self-acceptance.

ddubd · 2016-03-10T05:34:34+00:00

Do you watch porn? I stumbled across this Ted talk the other day. It may help.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ_QfP2mhU

Another huge question is: do you know who you are?

Title	Horrible self-esteem affecting how I interact with woman I like. Am I just not good enough for the girl I want?
Author	TheRealDeal333
Upvotes	15
Comments	26
Date	March 10, 2016 1:56 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/49re9z/horrible_selfesteem_affecting_how_i_interact_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/horrible-self-esteem-affecting-how-i-interact-with.1403787 https://theredarchive.com/post/1403787

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