Feedback from first date with tinder girl

nike747 · 2016-06-19T22:32:08+00:00

Don't whack off for a couple days prior to your next date. You'll have more energy/need to want to talk to her/escalate.

ammaesh · 2016-06-19T21:22:46+00:00

It could quite simply be that you're not compatible? I mean, if you felt that chemistry and attraction enough wouldn't your "daze" be overpowered?

Or is this kind of behaviour normal for you? If so maybe you just need to become more comfortable and confident in talking about yourself. Some people just aren't. I say it as if it's easy to go and do, but you'd probably have to practice with acquaintances, or people you're not too comfortable around.

Google some shit on social anxiety.

JShabs · 2016-06-19T21:42:28+00:00

Conversation is a skill like any other, and is also linkd very closely to your mood. It could have been simply your mood which would convey how you feel and it would come out in the conversation through body language and your tone. Though it might be your conversational skills are slacking. I would suggest talking and being friendly with everyone. One way I learned to talk with people well is to have the mindset that you can learn something from everyone and I would try to extract whatever that information may be. It was a pretty easy since I had a job talking to people but you can do it with anybody like when you go to the store talk with the cashiers etc. Overtime these conversation will be saved in your head and you will pretty much be able to respond to questions or topic with fairly good response. Also don't talk much about yourself rather ask about them and seem really interested even if your not interested in the slightest because they can feel your intent.

__lloyd · 2016-06-19T23:17:54+00:00

Throughout the date I felt extremely tired and anti-social. Couldn't relate to anything she was saying. I brought out a few topics and she would just carry it.

So you had a poor round because you were tired and anti-social. While that is something of an explanation, you should probably dig a bit deeper.

Why were you tired and anti-social?
Is this a regular problem for you?
How are you going to fix it?

A lot of game and life and whatnot comes down to be able to accept what is already true and to be able to dig deep into that to find out how you can create a better situation for yourself. This, like any form of self improvement, will probably be uncomfortable at first, but it beats the alternative of never getting what you want.

Letting yourself off the hook is not great either, as someone else almost suggested by saying, "maybe you guys dont have chemistry". The truth is more likely that you simply lacked the skills or talent or whatever to make what you wanted to happen actually happen. Better to accept that and redouble your efforts than to take an easy out with "we had bad chemistry."

Woujo · 2016-06-19T23:43:43+00:00

As the man, it's your responsibility to "carry" and control the conversation. If you think she's being boring or whatever, then make the conversation awesome. Find something that you both find interesting and talk about that. I agree with people here that sometimes you are just incompatible, but there has to be SOMETHING that you are both interested in. Women love to talk about themselves but you still have to control the conversation. If you just sit there like a log and don't say anything or do anything, why would she be attracted to you? What are you offering her? She doesn't even know you!

I also don't understand feeling "anti-social." What does that mean? This might have to do with social anxiety. You may feel like you need to "perform" in social situations, so when you are tried you just completely check out. Being social shouldn't be a chore - it should be something fun.

Crailberry · 2016-06-20T00:48:13+00:00

Maybe you were intimidated? And like someone else said, maybe you just weren't compatible.

One time I took this female out, twice, and we got along great over snapchat. She would act like a normal, talkative person. She was hot too, with a big ass, big tits, and great face. But when we would meet up in person she would get all quiet and be really hard to talk to. In turn, that would really discourage me because it would be like pulling teeth to get her to warmup and be herself. It would end up making me all quiet. I didn't take her out again.

You may not be able to relate to my example, but I'm just saying sometimes we aren't all that compatible with each other, and that's okay.

Start going out on more tinder dates/dates period.

Aarxnw · 2016-06-20T00:52:14+00:00

As a guy who has been in the same situation, I'd like to add this if I may:

That tired and dazed feeling sounds very similar to how I felt whenever I spoke to girls who I felt attracted to, I suddenly became uninterested and told myself that I was bored and tired. If how you're feeling is anything like how I was feeling (which it may or may not be), then it might just be your subconscious mind compensating for your lack of motivation and confidence.

Are you usually social, and able to carry a conversation? Did you feel nervous or anxious in the time leading up to your first meeting with her? Does this usually happen when you speak to girls?

starwars765 · 2016-06-20T03:39:28+00:00

How would you suggest asking for feedback?

Title	Feedback from first date with tinder girl
Author	frankiexenon
Upvotes	20
Comments	17
Date	June 19, 2016 9:01 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4ov6cb/feedback_from_first_date_with_tinder_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/feedback-from-first-date-with-tinder-girl.1408416 https://theredarchive.com/post/1408416

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