If one thing held me back with women most of my life, it was probably my escalation anxiety. I came up with this technique after I spontaneously did it while I was at home drunk with a girl over after the bar one night. I used it successfully for the next 4 girls (almost got a 3some using it, but just ended up making out with 2 girls for a few hours, they were best friends and wouldn't get naked with each other).

Anyways here goes:

First I'm assuming that you known how to tease and have fun. If you can't do that consistently, then work on that first. It's an invaluable skill. Braddock has written a lot of helpful articles on teasing.

So I have the girl over, and I'm teasing her about whatever. Then out of nowhere I take a cushion from my couch and playfully smack her in the face (in a fun, lighthearted, non-aggressive way).

Every time that the teasing was going well, she gets me back. Either she grabs my arms or grabs another cushion and hits me back. From here we start a playful wrestling match. I pin her down on the couch and pause. Look deep in her eyes with an "I know something you don't know" look. Hold it. Feel that sexual tension build. Then make out.

If she's not laughing and playfully screaming during the wrestling then you're doing it wrong. You don't want to be threatening at in the least, you want to build some trust and make sure she feels safe before you do this.

After doing this enough I became a lot more bold in my escalation and I stopped using this technique. I didn't need it as a crutch anymore.

Another variation that I used once was after cooking for a girl had over, I guess I had some food on my face and she wiped it off with her finger. Then I pretended like I was going to wipe some food off her face but I actually smeared some food on her face. This turned into a little food fight, then I called a truce, went to shake her hand, and then smeared more food on her face with my other hand. This turned into wrestling, then making out, then sex.

Have fun with it. Be spontaneous. Good luck!