Originally posted this to /r/matureseduction, but posting it here since it's very relevant to this audience too.

The typical PUA / Dating forums are based on silly tactics that give the average guy a power trip when they hit that “playa” status. They focus on tactics; not positive behaviors and mental models that are longer-lasting and applicable to other areas of life such as career, networking, business, and social circle development.

This list is made for people who are looking for a more mature, “adult” take on relationship, dating, and social advice.

Now, this list is by no means definitive. This is a breathing, living document that’ll be revised and enhanced over the years to come. Yet, it’s the most extensive and reliable “rules” of attraction that you won’t find anywhere else.

Although I made this list for my male audience, I’ve got a feeling that anyone will benefit from this and that it’ll enrich their dating lives and relationships.

If attracting high-value, high-caliber people and relationships is a priority in your life, follow the guidelines and you will get where you want to go.

Cheers,

Laz

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1. Remain honorable and ethical at all times.

Never cheat, scam, or lie. You are dealing with people's hearts, love, time, and emotions. These are not to be messed with irresponsibly. Do the right thing and play from a high ground.

2. Flaws are fine; ignorance is not.

Make sure to study relationships most common red-flags and avoid them. (CAVEAT: Depending on the “severity” of someone’s red flags, it's OK to enter a relationship with red flags, as long as you acknowledge and know the red flags and know how to work with them.) Problems arise when people blindly enter relationships without acknowledging the glaring red-flags.

3. Make decisions based on values and vision, not just looks and appearances.

Too many gentlemen are swooned by a woman’s appearance (and solely her appearance). Unfortunately, this intoxicates the man and blinds him from being able to operate from a sober, level-headed state of mind. Sure, place weight on people’s looks and appearances. But balance it by judging them by their values, vision, and character as well. If someone doesn't hold the same values as you, consider whether or not you want to proceed.

4. It's OK to have fun and keep things casual as long as both parties want to keep things fun and casual.

If someone is looking for a serious, long-term relationship and you’re not, don’t waste their time. If someone is looking to have fun and explore but you’re looking for a serious relationship, move on. Find someone on a similar wavelength.

5. Online dating is fine, "offline dating" is optimal.

Dating apps don’t teach you the invaluable real-world skills that offline dating does. There are no transferable skills learned from online dating. Whereas with offline dating, you are forced to face your insecurities. You are forced to become braver. Approaching strangers, getting rapport, building trust, and doing it confidently is a superpower. A superpower that’ll take you places whether it’s in your career or dating. Aim to eventually transition away from dating apps entirely. There’s much more glory in real-world dating.

6. Direct Communication is the preferred form of communication.

Cut the bullshit, quit communicating in circles. Say what you want and say what you mean in a socially intelligent, empathetic way. Being able to communicate honestly, directly, and without second-guessing subcommunicates power, strength, and self-worth. This style of communication will grant you more personal power and attract better things into your life.

7. FIND and develop your own “Flavor”.

Everyone has their own unique “flavor” they bring to the table. Meaning, a different personality. Find yours and express it unapologetically and without constraint. There is nothing to be ashamed of or worried about.

8. Abundance Mentality is King.

Adopt the idea that there are going to be many opportunities that come your way. Just because one turns out bad doesn’t mean you should be hard on yourself or become pessimistic. With that said, an abundance of opportunity also means that you intentionally decide to pass up on not-so-great opportunities (I.e. dating someone who you work with, dating your best friend’s ex gf, etc).

Know when to play, know when to fold. And don’t worry, there will be several more opportunities coming your way.

9. It’s OK to “friendzone” women who, romantically, aren't a strong fit.

Stay on good terms with everyone. If someone isn’t a good fit, no worries. Part ways as friends. Stay in touch here and there. Introduce each other to a friend who could be a better fit.

10. A well-balanced personality is an alluring personality.

Balance eloquence with “unapologeticness”. Meaning, don’t be afraid to be bold, brave, playful cocky, and assertive. All while being eloquent, chivalrous, and well-mannered. You can be bold and socially intelligent at the same time. Your personality should be like a magic potion; a combination of a lot of awesome qualities. Bold, confident, assertive, calm-under-pressure... While also sensitive, empathetic, and socially intelligent. Aggressive, and yet patient.

11. Paying for the first drink is acceptable and encouraged.

Do it out of goodwill and chivalry, not because you expect something back or because you’re overcompensating for a bad personality. No, paying for the tab doesn’t make you a “beta male” (your lack of self-worth and confidence are what will harm you, not paying for someone’s drink lol).

12. No one person attracts every person.

Attraction and Seduction aren't about "convincing" the other party to fall in love with you or come home with you. It's about giving yourself full permission to express yourself confidently, freely, and without inhibition. And then, moving through the world and socializing. Through authentic self-expression, you'll naturally attract the right type of people, and naturally, repel the wrong type of people who are better suited for someone else.

16. Frame = Composure.

The more you're able to stay composed, particularly during high pressure and tense situations (such as a job interview, when you see a beautiful woman, etc), the more alluring you become. Most people breakdown and become extremely nervous when it comes to high-stakes situations. Stay composed and poised.

17. Your "vibe" is a reflection of your inner world.

What you feel, they will feel. If you've got a bunch of negative thoughts floating through your head, horrendous self-talk, etc... People will get a "strange" vibe from you. They will feel awkward around you. However, if you feel casual, at ease, etc... People will feel more comfortable and open around you. Focus on your inner game so that your outer world benefits too.

18. Your looks and appearances matter.

Do what’s best for your health, hygiene, style, and fitness. Not only because it enhances the way you're perceived by the World, but also because it makes you feel more powerful and confident internally. Taking care of your appearance is a great way of exhibiting your self-worth.

19. Do whatever you feel like doing.

You should get into the habit of doing whatever you feel like doing, whenever you feel like doing it (with the exception of anything that’ll harm your career, put you or anyone near you in grave danger, or anything that’d directly harm someone). For example, if you don’t feel like texting someone back right away
 Don’t. If you don’t feel like going out on a Saturday night (even if on paper it’s the “cool” thing to do), don’t. Start playing by your own rules and following your intuition. This will further develop confidence in yourself, your actions, and your choices. The World is your playground.

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I purposely chose to focus on pillars as opposed to tactics, techniques, or scripts. I don’t want to give you fancy pickup lines to memorize. I want to give you solid principles that you can use to come up with your own lines and positive behaviors. I want to promote independence, not reliance on myself or my theories.

After a couple of months of reviewing my material, you should feel confident enough to “graduate” and move on to the other aspects of your life such as career, fitness, wealth, leisure, etc. Women and relationships are just a small portion of it all. The only way I can help you gain that confidence and ability to “graduate” is by instilling good principles within you.

Good luck and don’t hesitate to use me as a resource.

-Laz