I see it all the time. Here in the comments and out in the clubs. You don't dance because you don't know how. You feel awkward on the dance floor so you sit at your table, nurse your drink and do your best to talk to your friends over the music. You want to dance and you watch as the hotties who came there to dance do so with others, yet still you sit on the sidelines. Maybe you think about taking a dance class, but there's no follow through.

I get it, man. I used to be that guy. I'm here to tell you a little secret, though: With limited exception, the other guys on the dance floor don't know what the hell they're doing, either. In every club I've ever been in, "dancing" is more like bobbing and weaving. You rock your head, move your body to the music, and that's about it. Sure, I've been in country bars with live bands where people actually dance and if you want to do that, you're probably going to need to take classes, but for the average club scene it simply isn't necessary.

Here's my field report: I went out with friends last night. Four girls, three guys including myself. Now, I don't dance. I've been on a club dance floor maybe once in my life, just goofing around with my wife at the time. I felt awkward. However, I've been reading seddit since my separation and have been pushing myself far beyond my comfort level with excellent results.

So we get to the club and my buddy's wife quickly gets drunk and moves right to the dance floor by herself. He doesn't join her (he doesn't dance, either) but we're cool, so after a few minutes I decide I'm going to. I went out there, pushed aside the awkward feelings and just moved my body to the music. I figured I couldn't look any sillier than the rest of the guys out there, so what the hell? I stepped left and right, back and forth, invaded her personal space, backed up and let her invade mine, and just moved with her to the beat. She was digging it, laughing and joking with me about the rest of our group for being wallflowers.

After a quick drink break, on our way back to the floor I grabbed one of the other girls from our group and the three of us danced. A few songs went by, we went back for more drinks and my other buddy says, "Man, I saw your moves out there" and gives me the thumbs up. I was thinking, "What the hell? I'm a goofball. I'm literally just making this up as I go along." I thank him and encourage him to join us. He protests, so I involve his girl in the encouragement. "What's wrong with your boy? Drag him onto the dance floor. Come on, you know you want to." She is only half way buying it, but when another good song comes up and I move back to the floor with the other two girls, she drags him out. While we're all dancing, he says to her, "I don't even know what I'm doing. I'm just watching him--" - referring to me - "--and trying to do what he's doing." We danced on & off all night and fun was had by all.

Boys, I think we can call the night a success.

Key ingredients:

  1. Tony Horton (creator of P90X, the fitness routine I use to stay in shape without a gym membership) says, "Forget 'I can't'. Instead, say 'I presently struggle with.'" This was in the forefront of my mind for the evening.

  2. Seddit preaches inner game because how you're feeling inside always shows through. If you feel awkward, you'll look awkward. If you feel awesome and comfortable in your own skin, others will pick up on that. I didn't care what people thought about me last night, do you know why? I wasn't trying to pick up any girls. I was hanging out with established friends and I decided, "Fuck it. These people already like me. I don't care if they think I look goofy, they'll still like me so I'm going to try this dancing thing." I made the conscious decision to let myself go, to drop my inhibitions and just enjoy myself. Apparently, I wound up looking pretty awesome.

  3. You can do this. We all have a tendency to think, "Yeah, well, he can do it, but that doesn't mean I can. He's just a natural at it and picked it up fast and easy." That's bullshit. The only thing I did right last night was get myself into state and decide to have fun and to not give a fuck.

  4. Most people are just as awkward and worried about how others see them as you are. Rise above this. When you can stop worrying and caring what others think about you, you'll look supremely confident to them.

TL;DR: Stop making excuses. Go dance with girls.